On Dieting

Monday, March 9, 2009

Yes, I'm going to talk about dieting. Rather, I'm going to whine about it. I just wanted to put that out there ahead of time.

So, on Mardi Gras day Slappy and I were introduced to a really neat iPod/iPhone program called "Lose It" which helps you count calories. You input your weight each day, tell it how many pounds you want to lose each week and it tells you how many calories you can eat each day.

It also has a vast network of searchable foods so you can input your meals, or you can create a recipe and store it in the program to use again. It also has a list of searchable exercises (including "sexual activities," which, in case you wondered, is really not very aerobic apparently. Like 8 calories for 30 minutes. Not really worth it. I mean, not worth counting. Heh.) and when you do the exercises, it subtracts that amount of calories from what you've eaten.

It's crazy amazing. Except that I TOTALLY SUCK AT IT.

That's not entirely true. The first week I lost 4 pounds. However, the combination of eating Popeyes 4 times in 3 days and drinking my way through Mardi Gras helped create 2.5 of those 4 pounds, so it was perhaps a slightly skewed measurement of my awesomeness.

Since last week, I have lost .2 pounds. POINT TWO. I have stayed below my calories every day, I've exercised 5 days in the past week and I am plateauing. How does one plateau one week into a diet? SERIOUSLY. And I know I didn't have a ton of weight to lose in the first place, but at the rate I'm going, I'm going to reach my goal weight sometime in July.

Because, you know, 12 weeks of losing .2 pounds a week is totally the same as losing 1.5 pounds in 4 weeks. Like, practically identical situations.


It's like I look at a snack and somehow the calories jump in my mouth. It doesn't actually seem to matter what I eat as much as whether the scale seems to like me in the morning, and hey, it just never freaking does. I know I need to be patient, but guess what? I HAVE CONTROL ISSUES, a history of eating disorder(s) and I'm not controlling this. You can see how my brain is about to rip apart at the seams.

Honestly, I just want my freaking pants to fit again. It's not even about the weight, it's about not ripping the seat of my pants or not coming home with the imprint of a pants button permanently pressed into my abdomen. Well, and failure. I'm not a fan of failing, and yet, somehow it seems to be my dieting specialty.

Dieting skillz. I don't have them.

Control issues? I have them. IN SPADES.


Daisy, Just Daisy said...

You are gaining muscle. It weighs more than fat. Also, you look great!

Lipstick Jungle said...

UGH! I am gaining weight just reading the word snack.


Why it cant be as easy to lost it as it is to gain it? God must be laughing at me right now - gunt and all!

Flea said...

Popeyes! Oh, Popeyes. There's one around the corner from my house. I won't allow myself to eat there, for fear I'll be there all the time. Their red beans and rice are delish! And the biscuits - oh, the biscuits. But nothing rivals the chicken!

Insomniac said...

I shall stop lurking on your blog and actually comment!

Depending on how far under your calories per day you are, you could be sending your body into starvation mode. When you really restrict calories and work out a lot, your body wants to hold onto those calories because it fears you will never feed it again. I know, it sucks.

What you get your calories from is also important, but you know that, too, I'm sure. :)

And, Daisy is right -- muscle gain could totally be the reason, too.