Sal Monella

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

So, I totally didn't mean to come across nearly as whiny as I did (and I'm sure you'll be surprised to know that the anonymous commenter that apologize right after I forbade apologies was my husband. That, ladies and gentlemen, is my life).

I really wasn't trying to guilt trip you as much as I was trying to see if I had turned a corner in a wrong direction that was driving you away (whoa, unintended car metaphor). Now that we've established that perhaps it's because, like me, the never comments reader, y'all are busy, we can just move on. In fact, let's pretend like I didn't have an entire blog of insecurity and finding out if you were still my friends. (Yes, I am in 1st grade.)

And now, the long-promised salmonella story.

Back in January, I flew to Los Angeles for a weekend to go to an open house for the grad school (the #1 school in the country!) I will most likely be attending in the fall (because I am a money-tree). After the open house I drove 2 hours to visit with my family. While there I got to meet the brand new baby, and just generally enjoy some family time.

On Sunday, my last family meal before leaving, instead of going to the sandwich shop I really wanted to eat at, we went to the Elephant Bar (where ironically, the person who threw the fit about going to the sandwich shop ORDERED A SANDWICH).

Now, I tolerate the Elephant Bar, primarily because they have stellar mojitos. However, since it was a meal with family and I was driving, no alcohol was imbibed. Instead, I decided on the chicken, shrimp and sausage jambalaya.

Let me stop here and say, look, I know that you never order jambalaya outside of the South. I know. It's never as good. However, while unauthentic, it's usually a palatable meal and I wanted to see how (un)authentic this jambalaya might be. Trust me, I regret the decision.

Surprisingly, the jambalaya was actually fairly edible. The portion was huge and after eating for what seemed like a lifetime, I was pretty happy with the quantity of leftovers I'd have for dinner that night.

And then I decided to have just a little more, I cut a piece of chicken in half and started chewing.

(You see where this is going, right?)

As I'm chewing this bite of chicken, I look down at the other half, still on the plate. The other half, still completely RAW in the middle.

It took a moment to process the fact that I had raw meat IN MY MOUTH and that I had possibly just eaten a meal full of it. To be honest, the texture of the raw chicken was unnoticeable with the texture of the jambalaya in general.

I managed to not hurl all over the table but instead, spit out the bite and FREAKED OUT. Because, hello? Fear of vomiting over here? She does NOT do salmonella.

The manager came out after we alerted the server and offered free dessert, and while the idea of eating in general was horrifying, we got some cobbler (and it was goooood). They comp'ed my food and told me that if I came down with anything, they'd pay my medical bills (I don't suppose one can claim a brain nugget a month later as a complication for raw meat, can they?).

Obviously I did not get salmonella. But I swear, I'm just waiting to realize that I have one of the packages of peanuts full of it because, hello, this is me we're talking about, and if it can happen to anyone, I'm the one.


anita said...

Glad you didn't get sick! And I have to say, I meant to comment on the charity blog and say I'd contribute, but I forgot.

Lipstick Jungle said...

Ok, so I think I just got Salmonella just reading that. In my mind I am wondering - why doesn't Lysol market some sort of antibacterial something or other that tastes decent, but kills bacteria that you just discovered you injested a whole hella lot of.

Holy hell. I would have been puking until November! Glad you didn't get sick!

(shamelessly commenting to prevent a future meltdown! hehehehe - I have a kindergartener and a 5th grader, I have learned to "give in" to avoid a tantrum!)


Sue G said...

Sal Monella, huh? Reminds me of an Italian guy I used to date. Drove my Jewish mother crazy, which, of course, was the main attraction. Ah, memories.

Thanks for signing my guest book. Apparently Jewish guilt works on you. Who knew?

Sue G

Anonymous said...

My...raw chicken sounds SO appetizing! So glad you didn't get sick!!!!!!! Not thrilled with the whole throwing up thing, either.
It's a privilege to be able to pray for you!
Isaiah 40:28-31 Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding. He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
Prayer Bears
My email address

The Floydster said...

My skin was crawling when reading your post. So glad you didn't get sick.

Anonymous said...

Darn it. I missed being the 100,000th. I am 100,059. Oh well, glad so many people are keeping up with you, Katie.

Anonymous said...

You should never eat at anyplace called The Elephant Bar. That is just wrong.

Anonymous said...

now i don't want to eat chicken ever again.