In a twist of irony...

Monday, February 9, 2009

(I know, IRONY, you are all shocked and dismayed that it's happened again)

In the middle of teaching my last class today, I split my pants. Like ripped a 7 inch (yes, I measured) long tear right down the ass. Like, ripped it so much that I couldn't even get up out of my chair to get a sweater without baring my entire butt to my class.

I will admit that was not entirely because the pants did not fit well, but a combination of that and catching the pocket on the chair when I went to sit down. But also? It does not help the weight complex even one tiny bit.

Also, when one rips their pants in a classroom full of 14 year olds, you might as well go ahead and putt the scarlet letter of B right on your chest.

Because your (growing) ass? It is (ironically!) going to be the butt of every joke in the next year or so.


p.s. I also cut my forehead open on a sweatshirt tonight. But I don't think that has much to do with gaining 10 pounds as much as it has to do with being spastic.

5 comments:

Dysfunction Junction: said...

I'm not even going to go into about the types of debacles that have gone on involving the seat of my pants.

Not in polite company anyway. Look, I can turn your posts into something about me too...how does this happen?

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry but this made me laugh a lot. If it makes you feel any better I do spazzy things all the time. I once accidentally stabbed myself in the leg with my own sewing scissors. Really.

Anonymous said...

I struggled and tried not to say this, but can't help it, maybe this is a case of "Overflowing Ass" for a different blog title.

The Enabler said...

Out of a heightened sense of morbid curiosity, I just have to ask how someone injures oneself with a sweatshirt? That seems fairly complicated. As for the pants splitting, always a wonderful experience. Try doing that right before going out on stage in front of over 900 people. Now imagine yourself running around backstage looking for a stapler to "fix it" before you get shoved out there.

P.S. Staples do not really "fix" anything except surfical incisions, but I figure you already knew that...

Gabi said...

LMFAO!!!! I get the split pants thing hon....could have happened to anyone...but....how in the hell...do you cut your head on a sweatshirt????????