How to fail at other things too!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

It has been a day.

I left for work related stuff at 5:30 this morning and I arrived home at 5:30pm. In those 12 hours I literally did not have 20 minutes of non-working time, even if you added together all the 5 minute blocks I might have had. I got to work late because the thing in the morning ran long (yes, I'm being vague, it's called not wanting to get fired) and then the copy machine ran out of paper so I had to walk to the other copy machine which is as far away from where I was standing as any object could be. I was subsequently later for my first class than I was already running, which is just great when you work 5 feet from your administrator's office door. It's also great to start the day playing catch up.

Just as I sat down for lunch, which was my only promised break of the day, the front office called and asked if I could watch another teacher's class because she was going home sick. I'm not sure why they ask because you can't say no, so I didn't even have a lunch break today. I realize this breaks many labor laws, but I think it just broke my spirit. I needed at least 10 good minutes away from children, more for their own good than anything else.

I realized halfway through the day from hell that I had a class tonight that I had totally forgotten about. It is a lab (I took the class it goes with last year) and I was already on the fence about dropping since I have to miss 2 classes for work stuff, but when I realized that I had neither a) bought the lab manual; nor b) done a single moment of homework for the class and it was already approaching 5:00 (for a 6:30 lab), I knew that it was time to just drop that ball altogether.

It's the first time in a long time that I'll admit that I've bitten off about 12 times more than I can chew. Working full time, volunteering at a clinic 3 days a week, taking 2 full classes, applying to 30 some-odd graduate programs and coaching a sport is too much. Once you add in that my head is in a constant state of THROBBING RIDICULOUS PAIN, it just reaches a critical mass and I start to lose my shit, or at least my will to do anything.

I have a test tomorrow morning and I haven't yet studied for it. I have a big sporting event tomorrow that I feel is going to reveal my severe ineptitude as a coach. I am flying home Friday for a test on Saturday that I have roughly a snowball's chance in hell of passing, and then I have to fly back and start the cycle all over again. I'm almost hoping that Ike stays between California and Louisiana a little longer so that my flight will be delayed. Yes, I'm a horrible person.

And while this is one big gigantic whine of a post, it doesn't even begin to cover the sheer amount and force of the stress I'm feeling. I want to sit in a dark corner and rock back and forth. I actually found myself singing to nothing (no radio, no ipod) in the car and didn't bother to stop myself when I realized. Holy crap.

Dear this week, I bequeath to thee my ass, that way you can more easily kick the crap out of it.
p.s. Feel free to keep the extra 5 evacuation pounds that have taken up residence on it.


Leigh C. said...


Even for the extra 5 pounds.

Hang in there.

Lipstick Jungle said...

Hang tight - it sounds like way too much - it also sounds like maybe next week it wont be as bad?

Chin up!!!

And piss and moan away! :)

Kirsten said...

I had a terrible headache all day today and I could barely make dinner for my family. It was awful. Even 5 Aleve and 2 Diet Pepsi's didn't help. I kept thinking of you.

I came by to give you my sympathies. I can't imagine going through life with constant headaches. That probably doesn't make you feel a lot better. :-)

Hang in there.

Anonymous said...

Maybe you could go to the mirror and watch your mouth as you say the word "no". See how it curves; take note of how it feels. When I FINALLY learned that little word and started using it for my benefit, my life became simplier. How you can live with constant pain while trying to do all that you have on your plate is beyond my imagination, and I have a very lively one at that! TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, girl friend!

Anonymous said...

Okay, I think you really need to go out and do something fun. Seriously. I don't care if it's sitting in the window of a coffee shop making faces at people. You need some fun. Hey, I got an email with a whole bunch of funny cartoons I can pass along... No, wait. You're a democrat. You wouldn't think they were funny. :)