Validated and Infuriated

Monday, February 4, 2008

So on Saturday, during our day downtown, we set ourselves up just behind a blockade on the parade route for the two morning parades. We only brought one chair (and apparently the MIL scoffed at that idea, only to later monopolize the chair), but we used it to block off our space. I was feeling uber-unwell, so I sat in it for a while until the parades began.

Throughout the course of this parade were some MIL highlights. Her favorite thing to do is, like a 4 year old at someone else's birthday party, to see your cool bead catch and say, "oh, I really wanted that one!" until you give in and give it to her. Which is how I lost my super cool Fleur de Lis beads. And then we both got our hands on the same set of Saints beads and even though she already had her Fleur de Lis beads, she just had to have them. No it's fine, it's not like I live here or support the Saints. Or like you didn't even know who Sean Payton was when he floated by tonight.

She also orders everyone around. She wanted to take a picture at one point and it was then that I learned that the phrase "excuse me" does not make whatever's happening polite. You can continue to say excuse me, but putting your elbow in my spine will never be a nice thing to do. Oh, and there's about 2 square feet of room, where exactly would you like me to go? She grew tired of the parades and left before Tucks began, which was fine because I think Tucks is a riot and I don't need Debbie Downer next to me complaining about how long it's taking and how she's not catching anything special.

So after she left and just before Tucks began, The Fiance went to the bathroom. The lady next to me, whom I'd been friendly with earlier (in the true Mardi Gras spirit- you know, sharing catches that you both get, giving a duplicate of beads, etc) turned to me and we had the following conversation, which in retrospect, I wish I'd recorded somehow.

Her: "So they're all gone." (meaning the MIL and the Fiance)
Me: "Yea, he's in the bathroom, she went to roam."
Her: "Is that your mother?"
Me: "No. She belongs to him."
Her: "Oh. (pause) She's kind of bossy isn't she?"
Me: "Yes. She is."
Her: "I was kind of worried that she was going to start telling me what to do too."

At this point The Fiance walked up and was thoroughly amused by the conversation also. Sometimes it's nice to have strangers validate the fact that you're not the one who's crazy (for a change).

Oh, and, news flash, the MIL called her daughter (who then talked to The Fiance) and told her that I was refusing to speak to her and giving her "death glares" all the time. Which is interesting because I got admonished (kindly by the Fiance) for interrupting her stories to share mine the other night. Like you know, when we were conversing. Or how instead of spending my 2 free hours Friday sleeping or relaxing, I brought my book downstairs and read with her so it wouldn't look like I was being a bad host. Or like how I've put on the happiest face despite feeling like absolute crap and made nice with her and shared beads and complimented everything she's done or thought about doing. Or how I carried all the crap for her to the parade on Friday because she "pulled a muscle" in her back carrying her carry-on luggage at the airport (nevermind the brain surgery). Or how I poured her drink for that very same parade. Or how I've laughed at every un-funny story she's told and have not once yelled I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK! despite my endless desire to do so. If I've been giving death glares it's been completely unintentional, I cannot be held accountable for my subconscious. But from now until she leaves I'm just going to be sugary sweet to the point that even I'll be nauseated with the taste.

Which is okay because it's just 3 days, 18 hours and 43 minutes.


kim-d said...

BWAHAHAHA--I LOVE the conversation with the stranger; I think I LOVE the stranger! And the countdown, she continues to rock!!

I'm tellin' ya, Katie, you can blame a whole lotta stuff on the bifocals-that-you-don't-have-yet. You know, "Oh, I am SO SORRY if it appears I'm giving you strange looks; I don't have my new glasses yet" and, my personal favorite "Oh, that was your face I just smacked? I am SO SORRY. I thought it was a bug; I really need new glasses!" It's at least kinda fun to think about, isn't it?

Keep the Debbie-Downer stories coming; they're almost as hai-larious as she is irritating!

Anonymous said...

Hang in there. Keep saying, "This too shall pass."

Melissa said...

ah yes, the bossy mother-in-law. i know her all too well! a few more short days, though, and she'll be gone, and you'll have earned tons of brownie points for putting up with her!