The Answers

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Without further ado...

1. I can speak English, Spanish, Greek and some Italian, all at least at 3rd grade fluency. I understand more than I speak and my accent is ridiculously terrible in all (except English).

This is FALSE! I can speak English, Spanish (to probably like a 5th grade fluency), some Greek (like preschool level fluency) because I studied abroad there, but frankly, I don't know a single word of Italian. The part about the crappy accent is, however, 100% correct.

2. My father says that of the spankings doled out onto my sister and I (and by the way, this is so not a forum for pro or anti-spanking parents, it happened, and you can do whatever the hell you want with your own kids), about 75% were given to little ole me.

This is true. I had a small self-control problem as a child. I knew exactly what earned a spanking, it was not some randomly given punishment, but I would get myself so worked up that suddenly I would lose all control. I'd be sent to my room to await the spanking, but no, I could not leave it there. Even though I knew that the punishment doubled with slamming the door, I did it anyway. But not before shouting "I HATE YOU" at the top of my lungs, which, tripled the punishment. I was not the brightest crayon in the box. (I should, however, mention that it was my sister when she was around 12 who called my mom a bitch to her face, and when my mom told her to apologize said, "I'm sorry for calling you what you are." It was possibly the first time ever that I was the least in trouble child.)

3. In college I made straight As (and A-s) and never skipped a class until my senior year when I stopped going to one of my education classes because the professor thought I was someone else and subsequently, never marked me absent.

This is False which means you can kinda stop reading, but whatever. I did not make straight As and A minuses, despite a strong work ethic. My college was super competitive and to stop grade inflation, some departments capped the number of As that could be given in any class. My sophomore year I had a 96% in spanish and it was a B+ for the semester. The part about not skipping class until my senior year is true, but I stopped going to that education class because it was a waste of my life and the professor made me want to gouge my eyeballs out with a rusty fork.

4. I have broken over 7 bones in my body (not including fingers and toes) in my life, but aside from the internal ones during surgery, I have never had stitches.

This is true. Mostly. It occurred to me after I typed this up that I did once have a stitch put in after having a tooth pulled, but I think that the idea of never hurting myself in any way that needed stitches is still true. I've never cut myself to the point that I had to be stitched back together.

5. I love to bake and have won not one, not two, but three county pie baking contests (the first year I took 1st, 2nd and 3rd in the all-around contest). I also won in the cheesecake contest my last year baking for it.

This is 100% true. And a little embarrassing. I love to bake. I have 2 kitchen aid mixers (neither of which I paid for) and I make a mean apple pie. Or chocolate pecan. Or pumpkin. Or toffee cheesecake. In fact, that cheesecake may have produced the only nice thing the MIL has ever said to me. She said it was the best cheesecake she'd ever eaten. See, I'm not good for nothing

6. I did not lose my first tooth until the summer after 1st grade. I was 7 and of course, there was a tooth fairy chart in the 1st grade class where everyone got to put a sticker up when they lost a tooth and I never. lost. one.

This is true and I'm still a little bitter about it. I didn't get my first tooth until I was over a year old, didn't lose my first one until age 7, had the last 6 baby teeth pulled when I was 13 and didn't get my 12 year molars until 15. I also didn't get braces until 17, which didn't come off until I was 20. Yea, it was sexy. Like you even had to ask.

So, the only person who got both answers was Scarlett, though Monk (the uber-smart ass), was almost there.

Congratulations Scarlett, you win nothing, except this wonderful moment and memories to last a lifetime. If you're ever in New Orleans I'll buy you some beignets. But only because I get them for free because I'm crazy connected like that.


Anonymous said...

Well I'll be damned. You are really, truly good at baking? We can't be friends. I now hate you. Dammit.

I was getting worried about you, it took so long for you to post today. Building anticipation for your readers??

~~Silk said...

Whoa! I think I've caught you in a lie about the lie. You DO know many words of Italian:

Well, still not 5th grade, I guess.

kim-d said...

Uh, yeah...I sure hope Scarlett doesn't hold her breath waiting for the beignets...I'm just sayin'!

HAHAHAHA! Don't I get points for knowing you have two Kitchen Aids?

Anonymous said...

Hey, I heard a New Orleans joke today, and thought you'd appreciate it.

New Orleans 911 Call:

(caller to 911) 'My friend just got shot and he's unconscious! We need
An ambulance!'

(operator) 'Ok sir, just calm down now and we'll have an ambulance on
the way. What is the address?'

(caller) '456 Tchoupitoulas Street!'

(operator) 'Could you spell that for me sir?'

(caller) ... long pause ... 'How about if I drag him over to Camp Street
And you pick him up there?'

Lanny said...

GO KATIE! I have two Kitchen Aids too! You're the only person I've ever "known" that's had two.

Anonymous said...

Me, a smart ass? I'm sorry but I have no idea what you're talking about. I am, however, glad to know you don't know Italian. It makes me feel not quite so stupid. For some odd reason, I could swear I remember you saying you don't like cooking. Now that one was a good one to be wrong on because cooking is fun. Although eating what you cook is even more fun. Well unless a person sucks at cooking, in which case eating it may result in being poisoned.

Flea said...

Uh! If I hadn't sworn to never ever set foot in New Orleans again, I'd come down and have beignets with you! And I'd blow sugar all over you. :) Oh man, now I'm hungry for fried dough. Stink.