Ther road to hell is paved with good intentioned bystanders.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Lately there has been a surge in people sticking their feet in their mouth. Maybe it's because I've been reaching out a little more to different groups for help regarding my brain and headaches, or maybe it's just something in the water, but I worry about the education some people are receiving.

Ex. 1- I posted a message on a "pain management" board online. I prefaced the post with the description of my condition and what I had already tried and that surgery wasn't an option. This is a pretty busy board and I got one, and only one reply which said, "Katie, if you're having pressure headaches, why don't you have a shunt put in to relieve the pressure?" I don't even know where to start here. I get that the intention is somewhat good, but first, shunt surgery is A BIG DEAL. Not a little inconvenience, it's brain surgery. Second, I'm pretty sure it's not elective. I mean, it'd be great if I could just call up my neurologist and be like, hey, I think I'd like a shunt, you free at 4? I don't mean to sound like a bitch, but that's the pain management strategy? Oy, I think I'll keep my Opiates, thankyouverymuch.

Ex. 2- I was speaking to someone at work about the constant urinary tract infections I've had over the summer (they asked, I don't just go around whining about my health, though I'm beginning to see that it might seem that way.) She looked at me, in all seriousness and said, "well, have you been drinking cranberry juice?" When I told her I had and that it oddly didn't prevent the UTIs she said, "well, maybe you have cancer in your bladder or something." WHAT? I mean...WHAT? Why would that ever be the response to something like that? Was that supposed to be comforting? I do not have bladder cancer, I have chronic UTIs which are immune to the all curing power of cranberry juice.

Ex. 3- I was talking to a different co-worker about my brain (again, I swear I don't just whine about it all the time) and about how it is difficult to exercise (she's a phys ed teacher, so I was looking for tips) and she and I were brainstorming good exercises (I'm trying to tone, not really to lose weight). And all of a sudden she looks at me and says, "if you get hit in the back of the head with a ball, is it going to cause brain damage? Because if so, I don't want to work out with you." All I could do was laugh. Laugh and laugh and laugh. Lest you wondered, no, hitting me in the back of the head with anything other than somthing like a bowling ball, will not cause brain damage. Though I do appreciate the concern.

Ex. 4- My mother. Oh, my mother. Someone told her that a yeast imbalace can cause problems systematically, which I'm sure is true (though as a rule, my mom believes all that crap- that the muscle stimulators sold online at 2 in the morning are effective. That sort of thing.) So I told her that I was looking into a neurosurgeon in Birmingham and her response was that I should really try these yeast pills. I tried to appease her and offered to go buy them, and I asked what they were. Her response was, "I dunno, I'm sure they sell them in the refrigerator section of Whole Foods." Okay, well, I'll get right on that because I'm sure that they will be labelled as "all-curing yeast pills" and that they will surely FORCE MY BRAIN BACK INTO MY SKULL and fix all my problems. It must be the yeast.

I'm not trying to discourage advice or seem ungrateful, really, I'm not, I so appreciate everyone's help. I'm just saying maybe we should spend some time working on the logic first. And of course, the yeast. I'm going to go find some refrigerated yeast and cranberry juice. I have full confidence that I'll be cured of all malladies in no time.


kim-d said...

I know! Don't you sometimes just want to slap them upside the head and yell, a la Cher in "Moonstruck"? I very rarely ever say anything about any of my ailments to anybody, except for the people who I know understand--all one or possibly two of them. One thing you can be thankful for--you're not fat. Because if, like me, you WERE--everybody would find a way to make THAT the cause of your overflowing brain, and your UTIs also! Really! And, yes, it contributes, just like car accidents, exercising like a madwoman in younger, anorexic years, and genetics, and what-all else. But no one thing is the be-all and end-all, as some people would like it to be! Yeah, yeast and cranberry juice--OY! If only it was that easy. In fact, I shudder at the thought of purposely putting more yeast into my body, since that is my version of your UTIs. All I can say, Katie, is you really have to pick and choose who to discuss this with. Sad, I know--but it's the only surefire way I know of saving myself from other people's ridiculous-ness. Plus, just to give you yet one more unsolicited opinion, I think it would be a great idea for you to find a good immunologist, and I really hope you will follow up on that when you get the info. It won't help your ginormous brain, but I truly think you could get some answers on a lot of other stuff!

Just ignore 'em.

PC said...

My urologist actually said that citrus type juice(cranberry falls in there) can sometimes aggrevate things. BTW wold love to see you with yellow pyridium eye lol. By the way be scared..very grandfather will be driving in New Orleans sommetime soon...he is almost 94 and lets just say his grandkids used to argue 20 years ago who wold ride with him. How is kitty? Hi Kim!