Congratulations on your newborn, here's a list of names...

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Okay, now I know I'm going to piss a number of you off with this post, but, well, I'm going to do it anyway, because I'm like that.

I believe that after giving birth you should be given a list of names, perhaps even a book, with a large number of gender specific names, all of which are spelled correctly. Because otherwise, when a teacher is given a roster for her 100+ students, she's going to think that all of you are freaking crazy.

I won't list any names because that's a little, what's the word? wrong? mean? Both? But seriously, some of y'all are crazy. First, you need not replace all the i's with y's in a name. THAT DOESN'T MAKE THE NAME ANY MORE CREATIVE OR ORIGINAL. Also, adding an accent when there's really no way to accent a particular letter? yea, that also won't make the name any more creative. And furthermore, why do you need a name to be creative, isn't that the job of the child's personality? My full name is Kathryn, which is the atypical spelling of that particular name and I've spent my whole life spelling my name for people and always wished I could just say my name and voila! it would be spelled right. But it never is. Don't do this to your child. Just don't. No, don't.

Oh, and giving a girl a boy's name? I'm not talking about the dual-gendered names like Taylor or Avery, those are fine, but names that are clearly boys names and are given to girls? See, you're just setting her up for a lot of being made fun of, or at least a lot of confusion.

I'm going to go start making up the list to provide to my local hospitals, I suggest you all go out and do the same.


PC said...

Oh Katie- I have to sometimes I have looked at my class roster and thought what were the parents thiking when they gave their child a name or couldn't tell what sex the name was and stood there on open house night trying to not stutter pause when the child introduces themselves as that name lol. Maybe you and I could make a million bucks and come out with a book of new names like that kid who his parents were told they couldnt name him 4real so they named him that is so much better.

kim-d said...

I, for one, can't wait for the book to come out. Seriously, where do people come up with some of that...ummm...stuff, cough **crap for names** cough, anyway? I will name names...Michael for a girl is just wrong, even if it is spelled Mikal. And I rather resent boys named Kim, but at least I've never heard of a male Kimberly--but I'd rather not go by that, either! HA! Oh, I would pay to see these do you guys not smirk and snort a little each time you have to say some of the names? Hehehe!

Lanny said...

I have one more. Naming ALL of your children after different liquor is just not cool. By the time I've taught the third in your six pack, I'm just not amused by it anymore! Whew, I feel better now.
Obviously I totally agree. And no, Linus isn't my daughter's real name!

Anonymous said...

Couldn't agree with you more! It is out of control these days. Would love to see your list.

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