Road Trip Day 1...

Friday, June 1, 2007

So I'm in Houston, on schedule, paying 10 bucks to use the internet (technically I didn't mean to do it, but once I'd done it I figured I may as well use the 10 dollars well) and I'd like to run screaming for the hills.

I left about noon, turned up the radio and started driving. After a while I looked down and thought I was probably easily almost to Baton Rouge, if not farther than that. And then I saw a sign for LaPlace. And looked at my odometer and realized I'd gone 9.2 miles. I knew at that point it was going to be a long day.

Okay, and truthfully, I like Texans. The vast majority of them are nice people, but, (and apologies for the feelings I'm going to hurt), I *hate* this state. Everything works backwards. It's like a dog or cat that knows that you're not a dog or cat person and therefore bugs the shit out of you even more, helping you realize why you don't like them in the first place. Texas does that to me. Everytime I make peace with it, it bugs the shit out of me again. I literally, I'm not exaggerating, got one and one-half miles into the state when the traffic hit. They narrowed the road to one lane, which is fine, it happens. So we're not moving and suddenly the sky opens up and pours. No, maybe not pours, more like liquifies. It rained so much that there was easily an inch of standing water on the freeway and my windshield wipers couldn't wipe it all and I WASN'T EVEN MOVING AT THE TIME. And, as the icing on the texas crap cake, the lightning and thunder commenced moments after.

And then there's Houston. Again, nothing against the people here, but whoever planned this city and the freeway system, is stupid. I spent a lot of time on the beltway, which is a Texas word for a 2 lane highway with a speed limit of 60mph and a stoplight every 1/2 mile so that you get going quickly and then have to slam on the breaks to avoid causing a massive car accident. And it forces you off and on it like 4 times every 10 miles. Why can't you just connect these roads? Why must we merge on and off? Why?

And the best part? I still have 800 miles left to drive through. I can only imagine what tomorrow will bring- besides A LOT of Texas.

10pm update: Texas is much better after a Cosmopolitan. MUCH better.


kim-d said...

Okay, this sounds miserable. The only antidote is to stop at every Sonic you can find. I would seriously LOVE to have a Sonic in MN--but NO! I've seriously considered roadtripping to Iowa which is where the nearest Sonic is. Seriously, I would do it--Sonic has TOTS! You have to do SOMETHING to make this less miserable!