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Tuesday, July 7, 2009

As BlogHer draws near, the topic of blogging and bloggers is perpetually on my mind.

I have a small blog (and I love it, just for the record) but many of the blogs I read are not small. They are ginormous. Like the size of things my mom has heard of (she who does not read blogs (that's her Native American name)). These bloggers are like the popular seniors in school with the fancy cars and boys/girls fawning over them for attention. And I am but a mere freshman.

I had the luxury of meeting some really wonderful Los Angeles bloggers a few weeks back, and what surprised me the most was that some of them actually knew my blog (or at least graciously pretended to, and that has to count for something, right?). One direct messaged me on twitter afterwards to let me know that he just realized that he also had read here before and didn't make the connection at the time.

And all this went to show me that I am totally not an upperclassman in the high school of blogging. Because every time someone indicated that they had some idea of who I was, I secretly freaked out. Even when someone commented that she expected me to be "edgier" in real life (which I found hilarious, by the way), I more than taken aback that she even knew who I was than that she had any expectation of me.

Every time a "big" blogger (that is, size of readership, not physical stature, of course) comments or twitters to me, I nearly pee my pants, (and then immediately email Daisy, if she didn't email me to tell me in the first place) because I'm a huge dork. I'm that freshman who plays the french horn in the marching band of Blogging High School. Or maybe more like the 8th grader who takes only math classes at the high school and has no social skills. No matter how you slice it, I'm one heaping pile of dorkiness. And social awkwardness.

More and more the idea of going to a conference with these women (and men), scares the bejesus out of me. Not because I think poorly of myself or worry about not making friends, but because of how I react in such situations. If I'm star struck by someone else's words in the comment section of my blog, what the hell am I going to do when I'm (theoretically) face to face with them in Chicago?

If I had to guess, I'd say most likely I'll run and hide. Or burst into tears. Or hurl.

I can promise you, with almost 100% certainty, that I will not be cool. I probably won't even be intelligible the vast majority of the time.

But then again, if you're a regular reader, you probably wouldn't expect anything more.

(Anyone here going to BlogHer? Would you like to be my friend? PLEASE?)

6 comments:

Diana Lee said...

The closer it gets the more I'm feeling that way about BlogHer, too. I think it's going to be great, but I'm very intimidated. I can't wait to meet other patient bloggers, though. Even if we have different conditions we still have so much in common!

Flea said...

Ah man. I so wish I were going. It would be so cool to meet my online friends face to face. I don't care so much for the big dogs. It's the friends I'd love to see.

Sue G said...

You'll do great, Katie. Don't over-idealize a blogger's worth by the size of their following (if I were in high school, I think I would be snickering about now). Multitudes don't always equal magnificence.

Lots of people drink Ripple, but that doesn't make it fine wine.

Or something like that. :-)

Lynn said...

They're just normal people just like you are! You'll be fine there!
Continuing to pray!
Philippians 4:6-7 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Prayer Bears
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abdpbt said...

I don't think most bloggers are very cool--we're mostly introverts who are more comfortable communicating through writing to each other. I picture a huge room full of people talking to each other on twitter. LOL.

It was fun meeting you a few weeks ago, and I'll look for you at BlogHer, even if you don't like it. :)

Tellie said...

I've just come across your blog for the first time and I'm already a fan! I love having a small blog too, I don't even know what I would do if my blog suddenly exploded and became ginormous. But I do know, whenever someone with a "big" blog comments on my blog, I too get all warm and fuzzy on the inside haha.

I really really wish I could attend this years Blogher conference and I'm sure you'll be able to handle "stardom" quite well.