My cup runneth under

Sunday, July 5, 2009

I know I kind of skipped over the 4th of July post that I usually write. And I did consider writing a few things here and there, however, it seems that the vast majority of you are of a wildly different political persuasion and most likely even though my intentions are good, the post wouldn't lead to good things. So, for the first time in my life, I'm leaving well enough alone.

And talking about my boobs instead. You're welcome.

So, I went shopping with my 19 year old sister today and the first stop we made was to Victoria's Secret. In truth, I had no intention of buying much, but the 5 pairs of underwear for $25 got me like they always do and then because my sister was, I decided to try on a bra.

I have always had a VERY small bust. When I was heavier, I could sometimes manage a B cup, but it was always too big. These days, even an A cup is sometimes too big. But I grabbed my 34A and went to try it on. The cup fit great, but the clasp around me was too small.

So I grabbed the woman working in the dressing room and asked her for a 36A, which she informed me that they didn't carry in that style. She then asked if I'd like to be sized. Now, the last time I was sized, I was told I was a 36C, which was, at best, laughable. But, my sister encouraged me and I relented and let the woman size my boobs.

She measured my band width to be a 34 and then, to my dismay and my sister's GREAT amusement, she measured me as a C cup. Again. I'm entirely serious when I say that sometimes my A cups are too large. I am the founder and president of the itty bitty titty committee and I wear the title proudly. I frequently wear tank tops with nothing underneath because it's not noticeable. Because I have no boobs.

But, she explained before I had a chance to mock her measuring skills, I have and I quote, "weird boobs." She was trying to be polite, but basically what she was saying was that I have saggy armpit boobs and I need to pull them forward some. Because apparently having a completely flat sternum is not normal and that's near where most people's boobs reside. Weird, right?

And so I tried on bra after bra after bra. And truthfully, several of the C cups she brought almost fit, sort of. After at least 20 minutes and 10 bras, the saleswoman relented and gave me a B cup, which, with much armpit boob positioning, almost fits-ish. And so I bought it.

Because, dude, I had a woman feel me up for 15 minutes and tell me my boobs were bigger than they really are. And surely that self-esteem boost is worth 20 bucks.


Sue G said...

If only they made a bra for armpits.


joanne said...

awwww, my A's salute you. or something like that..;p

electricdaisy said...

I just succumbed to the $2.99 panty sale yesterday. 7 pairs in one trip...that's reasonable, right?

Flea said...

There's nothing like a good fitting. :) My double Fs salute you

Mrs. Apron said...

Eek. Last time I was sized, the lady just eyeballed me, and determined I was a DD, which nearly broke my heart. Then she produced a bra that floated both around my ribcage and my breasts. Hmmm...

katy said...

I'm not letting my daughter see this post...VS just measured her as a C cup too and she came home and called everyone she knows to tell them. She does have boobs though and a C fits well.

Elizabeth Kaylene said...

I went from a 34B to a 36B about a year ago, which was a nice self-esteem boost. I've always wanted to get sized, and if that means some lady is going to feel me up and then tell me I'm now in the C's, I'm all for it. :D

Daisy, Just Daisy said...

As someone who used to work at VS, I'd recommend the Nordstroms "ladies" department if you know what I mean. That and you should always get re-sized after weight loss, babies, hormone flux, etc. etc. And buy your bra's with a more "snug" band then you need because they stretch over time & you need to the space to tighten'em up.

(Oh and you can have some of my "extra" whenever you want. Just find the surgeon to help us out. Free of charge of course.)

Anonymous said...

I go to the bakery to get sized up.
Yea you look like 2 loaves of baquettes lady. Now can you put em away and I got customers to serve..

Becs said...

Two things:

1) Playtex Thank Goodness it Fits, which may not be as pretty as VS, but hey - it fits.

2) Bra extenders. Find the right cup size no matter the band size and these puppies will fix you up.