I can't hardly believe it's been a year.
I mean, on the one hand, our wedding feels like 10 thousand years ago. Still the best day of my life, but the best day that happened eons ago. On the other hand, the idea of it having already been a full year since we exchanged vows and rings is mind boggling.
I have been running what I might say here through my mind for about a week. How can I best capture the ways I love you? How can I tell you (and the internets, because, let's face it, you kind of married them a year ago too) how happy I am to know that we are just at the very beginning of an amazing life together?
And here's what I came up with: You are the yin to my yang. (I'm nothing if not original.)
You are obsessive compulsive in a way that few people realize. That is, until they see our DVD collection, or look in your toolbox or your bookcase. You like order, whether it be alphabetical (DVDs), by right angles (the toolbox, garage and the moving van that was more tightly packed than 50 sardines in a thimble) or by date/age (your books, but also, those are alphabetical within the dating process. Or some other entirely complicated system I don't understand), you love your organization.
And me? I like my chaos. I like my stuff in general areas where I can find them. I love piles and stacks. I love messes.
And over the nearly 5 years we have been together, your organization has made me crazy, just as my messes have done to you. But your organization has been useful and I'd like to think that maybe, just maybe, I've made you a little less crazy about order. If not, I'll just keep moving your DVDs around when you aren't home. Heh.
You are focused, but you are calm. You knew you wanted to be a doctor, and with that in mind, you set up a plan, took your time, and here you are, a doctor. You didn't study every day, you didn't lose yourself to the stress, you managed it. You formulated plans, you determined how many pages you'd read, questions you'd do and hours you'd spend on your studies. And you succeeded. You matched in the ONLY spot for child neurology at a hospital in Southern California, an accomplishment that I could not possibly be more proud of.
I, on the other hand, run wildly in circles near any objective of mine. I don't plan very well, or sometimes I plan way TOO well, and yea, then there's the crazy. I don't calm down and see my goals, I just run full speed with a full head of steam.
You calm me when I need it and when I was sure I wouldn't get accepted to any programs for this year, you reassured me and celebrated every acceptance.
You are a minimalist (well, aside from anything technology related). You weigh pros and cons before buying anything, you feel guilty as soon as you spend money and you are careful to make sure your purchases are justified. You pay close attention to your bank balance and your credit cards and you never, ever miss a payment or pay a bill late.
I'm sure you can see where this is going. I shop haphazardly. I go here and there, and I do contemplate my purchases and I do feel guilt when I overspend, but the guilt lasts about 10 nanoseconds and then it's over. I think that the collection of 10 trillion post-its and 8 trillion sharpies would speak to my lack of
sense er, minimalism.
(The very post-its and sharpies that were all over our house today spelling out Happy Anniversary in a rainbow of colors and designs. But, um, I still can't find the other N and I've been looking for 7 hours. I'll bet 10 dollars that you'll walk in and find it within 20 seconds. A perfect reason why I need you in my life.
Update: I never found it. He came in the door with a bouquet of beautiful purple flowers with a card that just said "N". Wily minx.)
Our spending neuroses keep us economically safe (okay, as safe as any family with almost 300k in student loans can be) and allow us to live comfortably, but also sanely. Or close, at least.
There are a multitude more examples of our fitting together that could fill up this whole blog.
You drink coffee, I drink tea.
You each cheeseburgers, I eat hamburgers.
You like mayo, I like mustard.
You like horror movies, I like chick flicks.
You could spend hours playing video games, I can spend hours reading (not that I don't play video games, but, you know...)
I think it's these differences that pull us together. We temper each other through good and bad, we find the balance that pulls us both from our extreme poles and into a normal level of care, concern or interest. Simply put, we make each other less crazy. Most of the time.
This year has not been a simple one. There have been trials, there have been fights, there have been big fights. There have been rough days and weeks and surely there will be more. There has been stress and trepidation, there have been victories and tears of joy. But there's just no one I'd rather fight with, obsess with, calm down, boost up, compliment, constructively (heh) criticize, celebrate with and of course, love with every fiber of my being than you.
Happy Anniversary babe. 1 down, a lifetime to go.
I can't hardly believe it's been a year.