Sunday, June 21, 2009

I've written about my dad before and the tumultuous relationship we had, but my father has truly become one of my greatest cheerleaders. No one is more quick to tell me how proud they are of me. No one is more accepting of my life decisions. And no one is more willing to do anything I ask of them. If I asked my dad to jump he'd say "absolutely. And I'm so proud of you for delegating." Because that's how my dad is. He doesn't ask why. He doesn't complain. He just does.

When I'm feeling frustrated by a parental or family response about something important, he's my go to.

Because when my sister was having a fit about me marrying a Jew (and a fit is probably the nicest way I could possibly put that), he told me he thought it was great and that our children would be so enlightened about different religions.

When my mom was having a fit about our wedding not being in good ole Bakersfield, my dad asked me all about the place we had chosen and ooed and ahhed about it. He reminded me of how much nicer the weather would be there and reaffirmed that as long as I was happy with my choice, it didn't matter what anyone else said.

When Slappy's family criticized our housing choice (because it has pools and barbecues and according to them, we really don't need that, and nevermind that it's just a perk and really we loved the complex...), my dad went online and looked at the site. He told us how amazing it looked and encouraged us to move where we would be happy.

I could literally go on and on about all the ways he has stepped up in my adulthood and how he has become this incredibly important figure in my life, but there simply aren't words to describe how much I love my father and how blessed I am to have him. His health has declined some this year and his frailty reminded me of how precious our relationship is and how much it means to me.

We had years of clashing where our relationship was ugly, but perhaps those years of trials and tribulations are what brought us to where we are today. More than ever, I can't wait to give him the grandchildren he so dearly wants and watch him give my children the love and support he has given me.

Happy Father's Day.


Tiffany said...

Now I am a blubbering idiot.


Sue G said...

Your dad sounds like an incredible man. Your other family members...notsomuch.

It tickles me to read about children who had tumultuous relationships with a parent and then have turned it around. As parents, we grow as we age. We mellow and begin to see what is truly important. So I understand that he has come a long way to become the dad he is today.

What I believe is particularly precious is the woman you've become. You accept your dad for who he is today without reminding him all the time of all the angst of your youth. I have found it difficult for children to forgive and grow past old hurts because they cut so deep. To be able to do that without regret or resentment, leaving the man he was and loving the man he's become, is very forgiving, very mature, and very healthy.

Yes, I said healthy. Remember that if and when you make that appointment with a shrink. :-)

Anonymous said...

LOVE this post. Amazing how relationships change over the years. I'm so happy you have a really great dad!

Flea said...

Aww. What a great tribute to your dad. I'm so glad you have him in your corner. :)