Everything that's old is new again

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Even that title, I'm pretty sure.

I am going to write about the experience with the in-laws soon, but I need a few days of NOT thinking about teh crazy, so it'll have to wait until then. Today was the MRI that we scheduled last week and dude, it sucked.

First of all, I had the headache today. The one that makes me want to drive into a building. Or off a cliff. Or some other thing that's totally dramatic. It's the kind of headache that I try to medicate, even though I know it won't work because I can't sit there and do nothing. It's like a soul shattering kind of pain. And it's a real bitch when you're proctoring a 2 hour final exam.

On the one hand, it blew goats because, dude, it. hurt. a. lot. But, on the other hand, I'm going into an MRI with a heinous headache, perhaps this means that we'll get a better grasp on what's going on. I mean, if there's something that can show up on the MRI, surely when my face is tingling and my sense of taste is all but gone is a good time, right? And if nothing shows up? I guess that means I'm certifiably crazy. Either way, it's good to have medical confirmation.

So I went to the MRI at a hospital I've never been to yet (I know, practically a miracle, right?) and waited patiently. It was a new center, very sparkly and very personable. They even asked me if I'd had a good birthday (which I did!).

I got called back, gave them copies of old MRIs so they could compare and they shuttled me in. To my surprise, I finally hit the MRI jackpot and got a place that has the metal-less headphones which totally rocked. Though they did not entirely block out the sound of the machine because even a desert stampede can't stop the sounds of the tube.

The tech got me in, put the coil over my face and then gave me the panic ball. The panic ball totally messes with me. Because I'm like, dude, maybe I should be panicking. And now since I'm off the anxiety drugs, am I going to panic? Holy crap, I'm panicking. And on and on. And she reminded me that I had to be totally still or they'd have to re-do the scans. So of course all I want to do is swallow really dramatically and scratch the itch on my face and holy crap I'm dying in a tube.

And of course, the sounds of the tube do WONDERS for the headache. About halfway though I really thought I might die. And I considered how convenient it would be for my neurologist if my brain exploded two doors down from his office. He wouldn't even need to get in a car to pronounce me.

And the MRI went on. And on. And on. And on. At one point the tech came over the speaker and told me that the next scan would be loud and that I might feel like the table was moving a little. Heh. She's obviously never been inside when this happens. It was like a shiatsu chair. It didn't feel like it was moving, IT WAS MOVING. Like, giggling my body to and fro (which feels AWESOME! with a headache) and making more noise than any object on the face of the earth ever has.


After about an hour, they pulled me out to inject the gadolinium, which was a special treat. Because the nurse/tech (not sure of her title), missed my vein. Well, okay, technically she went through my vein and oopsies, injected the gadolinium directly into my arm for a minute. Then she realized her mistake and used the needle to scramble my elbow tissue for a while before finding the vein and injecting the remaining gadolinium into my bloodstream. It wasn't long before I had the gadolinium taste in my mouth (and the totally depressing revelation that I can identify that taste easily) and I was back in the effing tube.

9 more minutes, she said. How about 15? Because something misfired on the machine in one of the scans so they had to re-do it. But, on the upside, they gave a copy of the disc on the way out so that I can obsess study them on my own.

My diagnosis, brain worm. No, seriously. Give me a better explanation or I'm calling Dr. House. (Okay, so on further inspection, it could, theoretically, be a blood vessel of some sort. I'm still betting worm though.)

My brain last September, NO WORM.
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My brain today, WORM.
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My brain before the surgery, NO WORM.
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My brain today, WORM.
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So, google experts. Diagnose me. I'll even buy you something shiny if you get it right (assuming the doctor calls me and there's anything to get right. And also, I probably won't buy you anything shiny because I totally suck at following through on bribes. It's a sickness. Probably one caused by worms.)


kimybeee said...

Maybe it is some freaky brain worm. They did that storyline on Grey's as a crossover with Private Practice this season. But, the dude had been out of the country to some place exotic. Maybe you could get McDreamy to consult?

Maybe, it is something very simple. Were the first MRI picks with contrast or without? Maybe that made something shine that didn't before.

To keep your mind off the scary stuff, just dish on the mil. Give us all the good dirt!!


Sue G said...

Okay, I can't see a worm in three of the four photos. I do see something that looks like a string hanging on the second photo (looks like a different view than the other three).

Almost as if someone had shoved a tampon in your brain and the string was hanging out for easy removal.

Katie, I know this is serious stuff, but I have to tell you that your post made me laugh out loud several times. Your description of so many parts of this and some of your phrasing just tickled me. (He wouldn't even have to get in his car to pronounce you...priceless!) When I was reading to myself, I literally thought, "Gee, I wish I could be in her head for five minutes" because of the way you think.

But then I rethought that...because I really don't like worms.

And as for armchair diagnoses, well, I would give it a whirl, but then I would have to charge you.

And I don't take your insurance.

Flea said...

Happy birthday! To you AND the worm! I think your brain has a tail. Dome kind of reverse evolution.

the queen said...

You totally have a worm. Or the cow is disintegrating. Or you have been overindulging in stem cells.

Ahhh! I just checked my MRI and I have a whole nest of worms there. Not as fat as your worm though.

Mrs. Apron said...

While I hope you don't have a brain worm, I must share my MRI tales.

I always fall asleep in the tube. To the melodious sounds of trashcans being beaten with pots and pans. I think it's because I scheduled the vast majority of my scans at 7:15am, so I wouldn't miss much work, and I was so tired, it was only natural.

I worried about squeezing the panic button in a muscle spasm. Never did, though.

I can imagine though that it would be much worse if you had a pre-existing headache. My sympathies about that. I just finished up a 30 hour migraine during which I lost all my executive functioning: decision-making, problem-solving, being kind to my husband, annoying-co-worker tolerating, etc.

Dysfunction Junction: said...

Oh, the shaky MRI...I've had that one! You know what they say? If this MRI tube's a rockin don't come a knockin.

Also, I don't mean to point out the obvious, but your cow parts appear to be leaking. Also, I'm immediately going to review my MRI when I get home. I was so distracted looking for Wallace I forgot to look for brain worms.

I'll let you know how it turns out. Can I name mine Elroy?

Anonymous said...

Sorry...I can't even tell what I'm looking at so you're going to have to leave it to the drs. When do you go in for the results?
Want you to know that I'm always here praying!
Psalms 31:7-8 I will be glad and rejoice in thy mercy: for thou hast considered my trouble; thou hast known my soul in adversities; And hast not shut me up into the hand of the enemy: thou hast set my feet in a large room.
Prayer BearsMy email address

Anonymous said...

Either your brain is growing a tale in an attempt to escape your body and hang from trees like a little monkey, or it's a leak.... *huggle* I sorry your head is trying to run away.

my Mom is an MRI tech, and with my Chiari and crap, she ALWAYS steals my scans that i have done somewhere else so she can analyze them. Medical knowledge can be dangerous.....

Amber Rae Paulson said...

To be honest, it looks like a pre anurisym to me. But IDK, I could be wrong. It has been known to happen from time to time. And yes, your dura patch does look a little taxed. The bones look amazing, though. So much wiggle room for that worm.

lace1070 said...

Zoiks ~ that explains everything ~ it's your own built in satelite so that you receive channels that aren't even in our galaxy! WEird ~ maybe they left a surgical thread in there when they were sewing you up! Hugs ` Lace