In a twist of irony...

Monday, February 9, 2009

(I know, IRONY, you are all shocked and dismayed that it's happened again)

In the middle of teaching my last class today, I split my pants. Like ripped a 7 inch (yes, I measured) long tear right down the ass. Like, ripped it so much that I couldn't even get up out of my chair to get a sweater without baring my entire butt to my class.

I will admit that was not entirely because the pants did not fit well, but a combination of that and catching the pocket on the chair when I went to sit down. But also? It does not help the weight complex even one tiny bit.

Also, when one rips their pants in a classroom full of 14 year olds, you might as well go ahead and putt the scarlet letter of B right on your chest.

Because your (growing) ass? It is (ironically!) going to be the butt of every joke in the next year or so.


p.s. I also cut my forehead open on a sweatshirt tonight. But I don't think that has much to do with gaining 10 pounds as much as it has to do with being spastic.

5 comments:

Dysfunction Junction said...

I'm not even going to go into about the types of debacles that have gone on involving the seat of my pants.

Not in polite company anyway. Look, I can turn your posts into something about me too...how does this happen?

Ali said...

I'm so sorry but this made me laugh a lot. If it makes you feel any better I do spazzy things all the time. I once accidentally stabbed myself in the leg with my own sewing scissors. Really.

terrifik said...

I struggled and tried not to say this, but can't help it, maybe this is a case of "Overflowing Ass" for a different blog title.

The Enabler said...

Out of a heightened sense of morbid curiosity, I just have to ask how someone injures oneself with a sweatshirt? That seems fairly complicated. As for the pants splitting, always a wonderful experience. Try doing that right before going out on stage in front of over 900 people. Now imagine yourself running around backstage looking for a stapler to "fix it" before you get shoved out there.

P.S. Staples do not really "fix" anything except surfical incisions, but I figure you already knew that...

Gabi said...

LMFAO!!!! I get the split pants thing hon....could have happened to anyone...but....how in the hell...do you cut your head on a sweatshirt????????