Catastrophilic

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

So, last night in my chemistry lab we had to melt glass. Specifically, we had to do this:



Not pictured in this video is me burning the shit out of 3 of my fingers (like, blister-esque burns), which was legitimately not my fault. I tried to tell my professor that the place she told us to melt was not the right place and we would all burn ourselves, but until every single person in the room screamed something profane and dropped their piece of flaming hot glass (to which she twice responded: "be careful, that's hot." REALLY? IS IT?), she maintained that she was right.

And then she admitted that maybe she was wrong. She wasn't sure because SHE'D NEVER DONE IT BEFORE. If I die in the next 4 months, it won't be a sudden death from the brain tumor nugget, it'll be from that Chemistry lab.

Or maybe just from life in general because, I swear to you, catastrophe's like an epidemic right now.

Slappy met me for lunch today and surprised me with food from one of our favorite little po-boy shops. We sat down to eat, I grabbed my bottle of diet rootbeer, opened it, and it EXPLODED.

Everywhere.

Especially on my white shirt.

The one that I had to wear for parent-teacher conferences tonight.

It was pretty great. And cold. And wet. And strong-smelling.

I really, truly, cannot wait to see what Thursday has in store for me. I probably shouldn't mention that I have a biology exam and am dropping off my tumor-ridden CT scan at my neurologist's office for him to review.

What could possibly go wrong?

5 comments:

Dysfunction Junction said...

Nugget??? Yeah, that pretty much made my night. Fingers crossed for uneventful MRI's for the both of us...

KY said...

I almost burned my fingers off in chemistry lab too. My (ridiculously dimwitted) professor told me to "feel the NaOH between my fingers." I did it b/c I was a freshman & not to smart in chemistry yet. I knew that when my fingers started to burn my chemistry teacher was a moron. Ironically, I now teach chemistry & I tell my kids that their faces will burn off & they will never feel such a great pain if they screw up.

miss button said...

I cannot tell you how many times I burned my fingers in Chemistry labs. I was there for 4 years, and it was never ending. Making capillaries, getting glassware out of the oven, generally working with dodgy old bunsen burners, being a bit careless...
By the end of it, my fingers were pretty damn tough though!

terrifik said...

You must go back to cursing and swearing. Clearly the colorful language was holding at bay all kinds of negative catastrophic forces. Since your New Years resolve to reduce the rough language, these forces are getting closer to you now. You must once again be the wall of profanity that drives evil back!

LOL! Love to read your blog, hard to find good slapstick humor since the three stooges aren't on much. Can always count on you to break a mirror, walk under a ladder, or step in a bucket of paint. Have you thought of a career as a stunt-lady or maybe a crash test smartie?

The Artful Blogger said...

Actually, she told you the right spot, but the problem is that you all were using shorter pipettes than those that are required. The longer ones have a long tapered end to them, and you were using the mini ones. This is the fault of the teacher. Bad bad bad.

Yes, I am a science nerd.