Resolutions Revisited

Thursday, January 1, 2009

So it's January 1st, 2009. The time to make resolutions. To start anew, to improve upon the past 365 days.

Before I started writing this, I sat down and read last year's resolutions and um, guess what? FAIL. After reading, I'm just in awe of how cute and naive I was to the year that sat ahead of me.

For example:

"In 2008 I resolve to try more things, to step outside my shell and accept that failure is an option but not the end of the world. In 2008 I will start a new job, one that is completely foreign to me. I have no idea if I'll like it or if I'll be good at it, but it's something that I have to try or I'll regret it the rest of my life. I will voluntarily leave the comfort zone of a job that I'm good at and embark on something different and new."

Let's review how that worked out. So I had a new job for a day, and then quit and went back to doing exactly what I had done before. Yea, firmly entrenched in my comfort zone, thankyouverymuch.

"In 2008 I resolve to procrastinate less, though I'm not starting that one until tomorrow."

That's a work in progress an epic fail. For the love of God, just don't mention the gravy boat that I was supposed to pick up a month ago. Or the fact that I tried to drag my husband shoe shopping at 8:55pm because I don't have any shoe(s) to wear with my suit for my interview tomorrow. As it turns out, procrastination is also prone to bugging the shit out of your spouse.

"In 2008 I resolve to be more tolerant. Not necessarily of rude and crass crazy people who swerve in front of my car or of the people who let their kids walk around in nothing but a diaper in a nasty store in December, but I resolve to let the small things go. To stop nagging, to stop being so picky, to stop being so unnecessarily grumpy about stupid things. I resolve to try and let the people in my life be who they are and act how they want to."

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Hahaha. Ha. I'm sorry. That was hilarious. If there was something beyond an epic fail, that is what I would label that. Super-Gigantic-Horrifically-Epic Fail.

"In 2008 I resolve to be me again. I think through the course of the chronic headache pain, full time jobs and part time grad school I lost bits of myself. I want to be the happy person that I know I am. I want to smile more, laugh more and just enjoy the things I used to enjoy."

So, I worked on this. And then had a headache for 10 weeks and took a medication that made me batshit CRAZY. But I think this one we can file in the "nearly successful" file. I said nearly.

Now for 2009. I think part of the reason I failed so miserably in following my resolutions in 2008 is because I bit off more than I could chew. I tried these broad overarching themes that practically required a life coach, who I would've fired because, um, I don't like to try new things. So I'm going to be REALLY specific in 2009. Small steps.

In 2009, I will lose the 10 pounds that I have taken up residency on my ass since mid-October. I will do this in a healthy, non-eating disorder fashion. I will not let my weight drop too low and I will not be too obsessive. Probably.

In 2009, I will eat fruit. And maybe vegetables. I will strive for 2 servings a day. And maybe even throw in some exercise.

In 2009, I will roll with the punches better. We all know that I'm going to have 8 trillion doctor's appointments and 42 different new diagnoses this year, so in 2009 I will accept that fate and try to embrace it. I am learning to cope through adversity. And cope I will, or at least laugh at myself more.

In 2009, I will rant less and swear less. I'll still do both, but I will try to write more positives with less profanity because, well, things are a little Debby Downer-y here, and I wouldn't mind changing that.

In 2009, I will enjoy the small things and the big things. I will try to find the upside and not dwell on the downside. I'll try to spend less time complaining and more time enjoying the things that aren't bothering me.

In 2009, even if I succeed at no other resolutions, I will work my hardest laugh more, love more and live more. Because I owe that much to myself, my husband and my friends.

May 2009 be the answer to prayers and hopes. The year of change and growth. And the year of not having my stuff stolen.


Flea said...

These are great resolutions. How can we help you keep them?