The Chronicles of Irony, Chapter 10,003: Crime Reporting

Monday, January 12, 2009

So when my wallet was first stolen by my friend Alexis, (and by the way, Anonymous, I pink puffy heart you for finding that information), I called the Bakersfield Police Department and was told that since the crime was non-violent and not worth much monetarily (it's just my identity, you know), I would have the file the report online.

So I go to the website to set up the claim. First you list all your pertinent information and then you choose what has been stolen from you. You are given a drop down alphabetized list of the items you can list as stolen. The very first thing that appears on the list is "AIRCRAFT"

I so wanted to claim it.

I can just see the scenario unfolding before my eyes. Some pilot comes out and finds his airplane missing, nay, STOLEN. So he runs as fast as he can, past the 10 trillion police that work at an airport to his COMPUTER to file an online crime report. How is that NOT the smartest idea of all time?

And, also? I'm not allowed to do my identity theft report over the phone, because apparently they cannot validate my identity that way. So instead they're having me do it over email.



Flea said...

Oh that's rich. Where would you hide a stolen airplane?

Ness said...

That is so messed up!

Lipstick Jungle said...

Hmmm... it makes so much sense to me!

I would have clicked it and then used the "I did? Really? That must have been a technical glitch in your system, I dont an aircraft".

Its easier to identify you online - I agree with Ness - that is so messed up!

Anonymous said...

That's hilarious... and disturbing, and worrying all at the same time... At least airplanes have tracking devices that allow them to be more easily found (most of the time)

I was the one who posted the name yesterday - computer was being a pain and wouldn't let me post with my name as I usually do... I was actually really freaked out at how easy it was to do... and there were even buttons to "find neighbours of Alexis Delgado" I bet you could even get their phone number pretty easily too

CatMominPhilly said...

points to you for making me laugh before 8 am. Nay, before 7:30 a.m. That is a rare treat, indeed.

Anonymous said...

Makes perfect sense, what are you getting at? ;)

The Floydster said...