A Year in Review

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

2008 is going to be an odd year to put in a box, or a blog or in my memory.

I've tried to write this blog about 30 times now (and yes it's technically being published after midnight on New Years. What. ever.), but everytime it comes out sounding so depressing, I'm trying desperately to reword it nicely. Trying, not necessarily succeeding.

I'm not ever going to forget this year, that much is certain, but for which reasons will I carry it with me? I feel like so much has happened in these 365 days and I don't know how to reconcile the good with the bad. Many days the good feels like David's left pinkie fingernail in a fight against bad, the role being played by Goliath and his whole effing family.

So the only way I think that I can overcome the size/volume deficit is to make a choice. I'm going to choose to forget the badness of 2008.

Specifically, I'm going to choose to forget:

-The CSF leak that has caused what appears to be permanent damage to my left hand. And the testing that had to be done on it.

-The boob surgery, to remove a quarter of my right breast, and the pathology report that opened my eyes to a whole new world of worry.

-The post-surgical complications from the boob surgery, including the staph infection and the seroma, which caused me to have to bind my leaky boob for 2 full months, including on my wedding day and all throughout my honeymoon.

-Being robbed on my honeymoon. Robbed of my computer, my iPod and my faith in other people to not do things that are morally bankrupt. And the subsequent 2500 dollars of debt I have accrued to try and replace the stolen items.

-Getting a new job that I had to promptly quit because it didn't pay a livable wage. And then begging for my old job back. And then getting my old job back and remembering why I quit in the first place.

-Having a headache that lasted approximately 10 weeks. For no apparent medically comprehensible reason.

-Having incompetent doctors follow me like a frickin' magnets.

-Having my foot break again. AGAIN.

-Having my wallet stolen the day after Christmas.

-Having someone use my credit card SEVEN TIMES after it was stolen. So far, at least. Those figures seem to multiply by the hour.

-Getting into a car accident on New Year's Eve. And being totally at fault. No, I don't want to talk about it. Not even a little bit.

Instead, I will remember:

-Regaining my full range of motion in my neck post-brain surgery.

-Driving across the country with my mom. Our last girl's adventure before the wedding.

-Putting on my wedding dress and walking down the aisle to marry my best friend.

-When my husbands pants split during our wedding reception (because oh my God, it was hilarious)

-Nine and a half WONDERFUL days of honeymooning (where honeymooning is a euphemism for you know, bow chicka bow wow (kidding!))

-Electing a president I find to be competent and intelligent. And the feeling of patriotism that I had when I realized what we, as a nation, had done.

-Getting into the best graduate program in the country and getting offers to interview at 4 others.

I am as aware as any of you that the list of things I want to remember is shorter than the list of things I want to forget. But I know that this year, like many others in the past, has served a purpose. It has changed who I am, and it's up to me to decide how. Because, believe me, it would be REALLY easy to curl up into a ball of sympathy and forget to live my life. After all, I couldn't run into any cars or have my wallet stolen or deal with incompetent doctors if I shut myself in, but I'm choosing not to do that.

And I'm choosing to embrace 2009. Because I believe in change and I think maybe this is the time in my life where I'm going to see it take hold, for the better.

Happy New Year. Bring it on 2009. Bring. It. On.


Ness said...

Happy New Year Katie!

I'm right there next to you to see what 2009 will bring. Whatever happens, we will get through it because that's how we roll. Thank you for all your encouragment, advice, and friendship throughout the past year. I don't know as I would have made it without you.

Carleen said...

Here's wishing you every bit as interesting a new year as the past one has been, although I do wish for you fewer bumps along the way! :)

Flea said...

Hooray for embracing the positive! It's been a horrid year in so many ways, but it's also been great to rejoice with you over some spectacular events. Thank you for letting us into your world, letting us share the good and bad with you. :)

The Floydster said...

Happy New Year, Katie, and hoping that as challenging as 2008 was for you that 2009 will every bit as rewarding. Hang in there, Trooper!