Monday, December 1, 2008

So I have my Microbiology final exam on Thursday and a Psychology test tomorrow, so naturally I've done nothing of productivity today since returning from work (and arguably even while at work, if we want to get nit-picky).

The highlight of the nothing-doing was an in depth session with Google Analytics, finding all the ways that people find themselves here.  Can I just say, some of y'all have way too much free time on your hands?  I mean seriously, what did you do before Google?  I think Google might be destroying the natural selection process.

For example...

"Feel like brain is melting after too much caffeine"  Sha, no way you could figure out the solution to this one without the internet.  DECAF.

"What are the symptoms of flying cockroaches?"  FLYING. COCKROACHES.

"Who's the brains behind Where's Waldo"  How is it possible that FORTY TWO people have searched for this in the past 6 months?  Dear universe, get a HOBBY.

"How do you translate wonderful husband in Hawaiian"  Di'ish Wah'sh'ur

Then there's this class of random statements.  I think these people are looking for affirmation more than anything else.

"God points"  To my blog apparently.

"So yea" (I'm totally serious, four people typed this into google and came up with my blog)  Smoke some more weed.  Seriously.

"I have substantial knockers"  Did you want a cookie?  

"George Foreman is stupid for naming all his kids George"  Holla.

And then there's like a whole category of medical questions.  Because this, above all other things, is a blog devoted to clear and correct medical answers.  

"Am I allergic to moose?"  Where the hell do you live that this is a big problem?  Narnia?  Here's a tip, don't get near a moose.

"Will pot show up on an MRI?"  Yes.  In your well-developed dumbass pre-cortex.  So yea.

"Doctor won't give STD results over phone, why appointment later?"  Sherlock, that would be because you have an STD.  

And my very favorite

"How would I know I'm crazy?"


Lipstick Jungle said...

Yeah, I think I was "how do I know I am crazy"... Bwahahahahaha! Kidding of course, really it was my giant knockers (yea right) and those pesky flying cockroaches that brought me to your door!


I love me my Google, but I don't think I have ever been that bored...

Good luck on the tests!

مارية said...

I found you through one of your comments on Suburban Turmoil. (I think)

"Am I allergic to moose?" is the funniest thing I've seen all week!

the queen said...

Did you look on the map? Does my dot make my ass look big? I might be under St.Peters MO, or St. Charles.

CatMominPhilly said...

this is the funniest entry on the planet.