Topasucks

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Yes, that was the most creative title I could come up with. Shut up.

I hate Topamax. Mega super uber hate it. And I've only taken a grand total of 50mg of it so far, though the next 25mg dose is only minutes away.

I took the first tiny pill of doom and evil on Sunday night. Monday, I thought I had been run over by a truck. Like, I checked for tread marks. I could barely stay awake at work, I could barely function. On my way to a meeting with a professor who's writing a letter of recommendation for me I actually nodded off while DRIVING MY CAR. Well, okay, so I was stopped at a red light, but um, yea, that's probably not a good thing. Which is ironic because when I tried to go to bed at 9:30 because I was freaking exhausted, I could not sleep. Topamax, I do not appreciate your irony one bit.

I consider myself a tolerant fairly tolerant semi-tolerant person. I dealt with 5 weeks of no chocolate, I can do deprivation if necessary. But seriously Topamax, destroying the flavor of Diet Coke is. not. okay. I checked because I thought I might have been hallucinating (also a side effect!) and screwed upness of tastebuds is a documented side effect. I'm sure there's a more technically term like, suckthehappinessoutofdrinkingadietcokeicus or something like that, but I'm not a doctor and I don't care enough to look for it. And I wouldn't remember it anyway.

My attention span, like my ability to stay awake has flown out a window. I believe I know what it's like to have ADD, but like drunk ADD. I can't pay attention to anything, but I'm so tired I can't even pay attention to the fact that I can't pay attention to anything.

Wait, what was I talking about?

And perhaps best of all, my head hurts worse today than it has in recent days. I do not appreciate this kind of irony. I realize that this medicine does not treat headaches (oh do I ever realize it), but seriously, it's not preventing them yet either.

So to recap, Topamax is:
-making me so groggy I could crawl into a small hole and die sleep lie awake endlessly
-ruining diet coke
-killing my attention span
-causing even greater apathy for all things in life
-NOT STOPPING THE HEADACHES ONE LITTLE BIT

And did I mention sucking? Because it is. See, now the title makes sense.

8 comments:

Flea said...

Wait. What's this Topasux for again, if not for headaches?

Monkling said...

Too bad you couldn't slip some of that stuff into a drink & give it to Airplane Man.

Diana893 said...

Um yeah - I truly don't remember the ONE day I tried Topasucks, because I was temporarily off the planet... like seriously I literally didn't get out of bed for over 24 hours other than to pee, and that took the life outta me. I feel your pain!

There was just no way I could possibly function on that crap... and your experience is unfortunately common. Ugh it made me feel so bad and disconnected... yuck bad memories. And driving? Oh I don't even want to think about how well that would have gone over.

Good luck!

brneyedgal967 said...

Pharmaceuticals suck, in my opinion. If your maladies are not caused by an actual medical condition that needs immediate treatment - i.e. general headaches, etc... check out an herbal shop and see what they recommend.

The natural stuff has faaaaar less side effects because they're not a toxic stew your body has to spit out.

Your title fits. Topasucks.

shitwit said...

i feel your pain, i have taken a lot of meds for headaches and still have them. :(

FerFur said...

I have been on Topamax for the last five years or so (I think) who knows, and I haven't had a soda in five years.. it totally ruins the soda for you. The side effects do generally get better though, at least for me they did.

Hang in there.

Jennifer in Virginia

Daisy Duke said...

Oooh, what about the title "Topomaximum Suckage"

Gabi said...

Yep...I've been on it....it does suck! Didn;t help my migraines and I swear I at the attention span of a 8 year old! Plus EVERYTHING tasted like waxpaper...at least I lost a few pounds on it. Man- I hope your neuro comes up with a solution soon!!!