Swell

Monday, August 18, 2008

I'm feeling introspective today. I don't know quite what I want to write, but I know I can't come up with anything witty at all. I'm feeling extremely stressed (I know, I know, it's an entirely new thing for me) and every time I think I have that stress managed, it swells back up again, crashes over me and I find myself drowning in it.

And despite feeling like I'm drowning in a sea of impossible tasks, chores and paperwork, I still want to write something. I want to type, I want to make the connections that this blog brings me. It's like in this sea of craziness, I'm hoping to find calmer waters here. I don't know. I'm obviously also feeling really metaphorical right now.

I met up with NOLA and Jane Moneypenny this afternoon for coffee (read: diet coke) and good conversation. In that hour and a half I couldn't help but reflect upon how much this blog has done for my life. Two years ago, almost exactly, I moved to this far away city where I knew no one. Literally no one. I started my life over from scratch and I began my first adult job. It was astoundingly difficult, but I managed. Looking back, I'm still not sure how. I've never been a very adaptable person, but somehow, I've made a life here. And overall, I have very few complaints about it. Okay, so that's not true at all, but very few non-health New Orleans specific complaints at least.

I began this humble writing project in April of 2007. Initially it was just because I thought I was a comedic genius in hiding. But what it is has become is so much more than platform for me to try and make good puns and relate humorous stories, it has become my community, my network, my safe haven. It is through this blog that I have made the only connections I have outside of my work and Slappy's school. It is through this blog I have received help, support, prayers, love and strength, even in dark times. It is here I get to share a slice of my life with other people, I get to put down my life experiences, not on paper, but on a medium that allows me to preserve them and others to share in them.

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this. I've never really wanted to attain blogger fame (okay, that's not entirely true, I think we've all temporarily dreamed of it), but I never anticipated gaining such happiness out of it either. I know I don't have to update every day, but when I don't, it's like the words and thoughts get so swirled in my head that I struggle to focus on something other than a potential blog or a great thought of the day, or in this case, just a desire to write something. This is such a foreign feeling to me, but it's a good one too.

And now a paragraph farther into the ramble, I still don't know where I'm going, so I think I'll try to curb this stream of consciousness soon. I am so very thankful that you are here, whether it's your first or 31st time visiting. I am so blessed to be able to share my life and daily drivel with you and I thank you for being a part of days.

And also, may Mondays burn in hell, because seriously, I'm drowning in the scraps of what is left of today. But more importantly, thanks for being here.

8 comments:

nola said...

Well said :)

Jane Moneypenny said...

I feel how you felt 2 years ago, which is ironic since I grew up here.

And next time, I'll actually show up on time b/c I won't get lost...

Ness said...

Remember first and foremost it is YOUR blog and it's important to record the Delilah Downer Days because, after all, when you have this printed in book form and your children read it later in life, they'll want to know that Mom was human and had down times as well. I mean, think of the pressure those kids will have....their dad as an elite physician/surgeon and their mom at the top of her chosen profession...

And God knows, I hold the title for Delilah Downer Days so you've got a lot of catching up to do...

Be well and take care.

Daisy Duke said...

I really enjoy your writing. It is honest & refreshing- I think you have a good dose of reality mixed in with some good times. Isn't that what we all want?

I check in often (ok well maybe it borders on creepy, but sometimes work is boring & you just never know if someone might update with something witty & refreshing right as you are ready to drown yourself in the recycling bins) because its nice to know that someone else has their struggles but that they have light at the end of the tunnel too.

Thanks for being so fun to "know"

the queen said...

I am planning to say "May Mondays burn in hell" next Monday.

Courtney said...

what made you up and leave to somewhere knew? I'm sure you've posted about it already. maybe you can direct me to those posts?

Overflowing Brain said...

Courtney-

I'm not sure it is actually anywhere here. My husband, then boyfriend, got into medical school in New Orleans. He was just too good to give up. :)

Flea said...

:D I'm so glad you're here, blogging.