It's my life...

Monday, August 25, 2008

Oh. my. God.

This week is bordering on a kind of amazing I can't even put into words. But at least this time the sentences I try to string together will be amusing, because once again, I'm living a freaking sitcom.

Rewind to Sunday.

I'm taking a microbiology class online and our first test is the Tuesday after Labor Day and since I'll be in Nashville all weekend be home all weekend since we had to cancel our trip due to having absolutely no money, I was trying to get some things done ahead of time. So the first thing I needed was the book. Seems simple, yes? No. It's not. There is not a single store in the city, including the SCHOOL'S BOOKSTORE that carries it. So I ordered it from Amazon, paid an extra 17 dollars so I can have it by Tuesday afternoon.

Fine, whatever. It was done. So Slappy and I decided to go work at a coffeeshop. I had the powerpoints and notes from the prof of the course, so I figured I could at least get started on some work. Wrong again. My car would not start. I'm not sure why I expected it to, it's not like I've poured hundreds of dollars into it in the past 3 months. Or like it's only 5 years old. It seems perfectly rational that in a year I should have to replace the brakes, all 4 tires, the battery and whatever it is that's allowing it to chug-chug-chug indefinitely, but not actually start.

So we got in Slappy's car and drove to the coffeeshop. Where I parallel parked into a pole. I really wish I was joking.

And then I finally got out of the car and went running across the street in the rain. In flip flops. Or I guess just flip flop since one of them fell off halfway across the street. In the rain. And before I could go out and pick it up FOUR different cars ran over it. In the rain. There was even a homeless man on the street literally pointing and laughing at me. That has to be some kind of sign, or perhaps a metaphorical trophy.

After a good 45 minutes of work I grabbed my blackberry italian soda to take a drink and instead, tipped the whole damned thing over. On my notes, slightly on my computer, but mostly on my lap. Just exactly perfectly to look like I wet my pants. I wanted to die.

Instead, I pulled my sweatshirt down over my soaking wet pants, walked back out in the rain and went home. And yes, I cried some too. I probably didn't mention that I had a pounding headache all day long. Or perhaps that went without saying.

Today began rather unremarkably aside from feeling like I was going to vomit most of the day (no, still not pregnant, just to make that clear). Thankfully (for now) that's subsided, but it surely made teaching interesting.

The day lost it's unremarkableness when we cancelled the Nashville trip and then 10 minutes later when I found out that my great-grandfather died this afternoon. I wasn't especially close to him, it's just another one of those times when I'd like to be there with my family. Especially my youngest sister who started college yesterday and is quite far from home as well.

Tomorrow I have to get up at 5 in the morning to be in charge of something that I am completely incompetent at. And did I mention 5 in the morning? Because that's going to make my no talking before 9am rule really difficult to enforce. And my husband is on call again, so I won't see him again until Wednesday, which is just really sucky because I really kind of need to be with him some right now, but it's out of both of our hands, so we're just dealing with it. I'm pretty sure that's all that we can do.

But on the bright side, it really has to get better from here, doesn't it? I mean, I'm trying to figure out how it could suck more and I'm coming up with nothing. I'm testing fate because I'm told that I'm not to be given more than I can handle, and God, if you're reading, I CANNOT HANDLE ANY MORE.


Anonymous said...

Oooh wow, welcome to my life, especially with the car and the chain of things happening as if someone is stabbing at a voodoo doll. Chin up! It makes you REALLY enjoy the days that are minimally good.

As for the flip flops, if they're Old Navy, I've fallen on my face before in those numerous times. Hey, at least they're REALLY broken in now.

Hope things get better!

Anonymous said...

Ya know - I really, really tried to win a jackpot when we were in Atlantic City and if I had, I'd have personally have sent you to Nashville. But the universe sees fit to let all the morons get the big bucks. I'm sorry. But hey, at least you know that if I was rich, I would have done that. Does that help the headache a teeny bit?? No? Okay, well you just go get some sleep.

Daisy, Just Daisy said...

Can either of us have a string of good weeks, EVER?

Sheesh. Who did we piss off??

Daisy, Just Daisy said...

Oh and imagine someone falling down the entire front stair/entry of Gibson Hall at Tulane, only to break a flip flop on the way down, lose all her books & get stepped on by a passerby- that was my roommate in college. Me? I wiped out in rainstorm on the corner of Freret & McAlister in front of about 400 people, scraped my knees and elbows up, broke my umbrella in half (from landing on it) broke my flip flop and filled my book bag with gutter water on the way down. Sigh.

Anonymous said...

A homeless man laughed at you? And I missed that? Priceless!!!! Do you retrieve your flip flop?

Seriously, very sorry about your grandfather and the canceling of your trip. Really. Sorry.

Flea said...

I just don't know what to say anymore, Katie. Somethin's gotta give. If it's any help, I've also parked into a pole. In my in-laws' Lincoln Town Car. Yeah. Never quite lived that one down.