Wedding part 7: The Reception

Saturday, July 12, 2008

So, I do now have the legal pictures, but not yet the ability to cover or blur faces or do anything to any of the pictures because I don't have the "paint" software on my Mac. That, along with the solitaire games that only come on PCs are pretty much the only things I miss with my Mac.

But anyway, for now, this will have to do. And p.s.- this post is extremely long. If you finish, be sure to give yourself a pat on the back. And go eat a cookie or something. If you finish this entry, you really deserve it. I'm not providing it, but you deserve it anyway.

So I left off with the reception set up, and now onto the real reception. After the ceremony there was a cocktail hour where our guests had appetizers and copious quantities of alcohol (that's how we got half our friends there, hello, hosted bar!). Meanwhile, Slappy and I had a few minutes alone to just sit and eat some appetizers ourselves and then we did more pictures (many of which you've already seen) and then eventually, it was time for the reception.

They got the wedding party all lined up outside the room and the DJ announced each couple, starting with Slappy's parents. And this is where the problems sort of began (that is the non-ceiling caving in, marriage license typo, florist 2 hours late problems...). Slappy's mother has a very lovely name, however, if you reverse 2 of the letters, it's a slightly less lovely name (in her opinion at the very least). And of course, that's how the DJ announced her. In her own words, she believes that her announced name is a cow's name, and she was, um, irritated, to say the least (I was amused to say the very least). Then the DJ introduced my parents together, rather than with their respective spouses (ha, it was pretty funny too) and then mispronounced Slappy's brother's name. And it's not a hard name. It's 3 letters long, seriously? It's just not that challenging.

But defying all the odds, the DJ got our names right and we were announced. And here's us walking in. Oh wait, that's right, it's just me walking in because my husband stopped to talk to friends.

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And then we did our first dance. I have only a few pictures of this because Slappy was kind of all up in those pictures, but you should know that the best picture of the bunch was from our first dance. I had been struggling with my dress getting caught between my legs (it was gargantuan) which had a lot to do with the fact that my sister missed a bustle when she got me ready for the reception, but one of the ways Slappy helped me cope with this was to twirl me, and of course, much to my dismay and pleading otherwise, dipping me. So once I find the ability to cover his face, I'll post the picture because it's priceless. But here are a few to give you a small taste. Oh, in the end we decided on the Keith Urban song, "Making Memories of Us" for our first dance. It was the first song Slappy ever suggested for the first dance and it worked beautifully.

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(my hand is an illusion...)

After this, we had toasts, first from my sister, and then from Slappy's brother. There's another priceless picture here during Slappy's brother's toast, which was funny, but I can't show it to you. So here's us at our sweetheart table and then hugging my sister after her toast.

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Image and video hosting by TinyPic

After the toasts, Slappy's dad did a traditional Jewish blessing over the world's largest loaf of challah bread (you can see it in the first dance pictures), which was then broken into pieces and served at each table, along with caesar salad. Some guests were not really sure of what to do with the challah. Or perhaps they're just smart asses. Hard to tell.

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Since neither Slappy nor I were really hungry, we went around to each table, stopping first at my mom's so that she could fix my bustling.

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(this is how it looked when properly bustled)

After that we ate dinner (a combination plate- steak and salmon with garlic mashed potatoes!) and then my dad gave a very funny and sweet toast. And then we danced. We danced to a song called "I loved her first" by Heartland. Google the lyrics and you'll understand why my father bawled like a baby through about half the dance.

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(This is him hugging me because he's crying so hard he can't dance anymore)

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(I love this one)

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(Crying again)

After we finished, Slappy dance with his mom to the Lee Ann Womack song "I hope you dance" which was decided upon after we rejected all her Celine Deon lovey dovey songs that were absolutely absurd for a woman who doesn't like her own child. I have no pictures to share, but it was painful for Slappy since, shockingly I know, she likes to lead rather than follow. Plus, it singes your skin to touch the devil. Wait, did I say that out loud? Halfway through the dance everyone else joined them on the floor.

Shortly after this, Slappy and I cut the cake, which had a really great cake topper of personalized bobble heads. Sadly, they were lost after the cake was cut, but we got our money back and a lot of apologies. I, of course, have no pictures of this to show you either, but I can narrate pretty well what happened. I had been very clear with Slappy that I did not want cake smeared on my face. I was having my make up done and I just didn't want to have to wipe all of it off or any of that. So we cut the cake and he goes to feed me a bite, and to his credit, he did not smear frosting on my face. Instead, he gave me a bite, a LARGE one, completely comprised of frosting. I like frosting, but a full bite of it? No. So I was perhaps not as tidy when I smashed cake into his mouth. And then he gave me a big frosting lips kiss, where I look like I'd rather consume garbage than kiss the frosting (not than kiss him, just the frosting part).

After the cake were the bouquet and garter tosses. My bouquet toss was rather uneventful with Slappy's brother's girlfriend (of the day) catching the bouquet. Though Slappy's brother was in the bar watching tv or doing God knows what and missed it.

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And then Slappy did the garter. Let me preface this with the fact that I hate the garter tradition. I think it's raunchy, and Slappy spared no expense at making it as raunchy as possible. The only picture I can show you of his entire show is this, but note that he came out for air once and then we he emerged he had the garter in his mouth. However, regardless of what he tries to tell you, he did not remove it with his teeth.

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After all the requisite traditions we did the last requisite Jewish tradition- the Hora. I don't know the origin, I don't know the real procedure but I do know that if you invite 115 guests and only 20 of them are Jewish, the Hora is much more complicated. All of Slappy's family and family-friends got up and we danced in a bit circle (during which ALL of my bustles ripped out, but seriously, who even cares?) and then the chairs emerged. Oh yes, the chairs. Before I knew it, my satin covered ass was on a satin covered chair and I was slip-sliding through the air. I had 3 guys lifting me, meaning my chair was leaning to one side, but Slappy had 2 girls trying to lift him and it did not work quite as well. Combine that with the fact that the DJ (and all the gentiles) didn't know the song was supposed to be played over and over so that everyone got up in the chairs, and well, it was not really a traditional hora. However, I had a blast and managed to save myself from certain death by jumping out of chair when I began truly sliding out of it. If you ever get married, do the hora. It's ridiculously entertaining. Sort of a no-rules mosh pit with chairs and Hava Naguila.

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Image and video hosting by TinyPic

When the hora was over we got the party really started. Slappy and I goofed around for a few minutes (twirling and tangoing, of course) and then everyone got their groove on. Slappy got his on a little too enthusiastically because about 2 minutes into the first free-for-all dancing song, I heard his sister laughing hysterically and then she pointed out the HUMONGOUS split in his pants. I'm not talking like just ripped the seat seam out of them, I'm talking like a 14 inch split down the butt and half the leg. It was hilarious.

So I had to then go track down someone who worked there, get a sewing kit and then lock us in an office to sew up Slappy's pants. Of course, this was the point in the evening when everyone who came from out of town was leaving, and we were, of course, locked in a room and sans-pants. It was only slightly awkward. In the end, I did the best I could and then told him to tuck his shirt into his black underwear and we got back out there. Shortly after this, due to the heat (due to the air conditioning malfunction that caused the bridal suite to collapse in on itself) Slappy began shedding clothes anyway and once he lost the coat, vest and tie, he untucked his shirt and it was not noticeable. But I went ahead and told everyone anyway. I told you, it was hilarious.

I kept right on grooving, even sans-bustles and Slappy did the same, with shottily sewn pants.

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(holding my dress)

We danced and danced and danced, until they made us leave at 11. We did manage to get the first dance song I had wanted at the end of the night, as our final dance (Ben Folds, The Luckiest). And I'm ever so slightly proud to announce that the MIL stomped back to her seat and REFUSED to dance during the last dance because of the song. Victory is mine.

I can honestly tell you it was the best day of my whole life. A lot of things went wrong, but almost all of them were incredibly comical and so much less bad than they could've been. And when it was all said and done, I was married to my best friend and we were in a limo on a way to a super fancy hotel before jetting off to our Hawaiian honeymoon.

In short, it rocked. And while it was so much work, and so much money and so much stress, if I had it to do over again, I wouldn't do any of it differently. It was perfect.

(I still have 2 wedding related posts coming up- the honeymoon pictures (totally safe for work, perverts) and the "outtakes" from the wedding. You'll see what I mean)


Greta Perry said...

You look absolutely stunning. Wishing you nothing but joy and happiness in your married life!

Greta Perry said...

Oh ya - Mazel Tov!

Anonymous said...

I made it through the whole post, it looked amazing. Now to go look up the lyrics of the songs.

Daisy Duke said...

You looked fabulous. Can I mention again how gorgeous your dress was??

- I don't know anyone whose bustle made it through the whole reception.

- What *is* the MIL's deal with the Ben Folds song?! So bizarre.

- My Mother's greatest fear in life is that at my wedding the DJ or band will announce me & my husband in what she calls the "Bob Barker" style. She's asked that I not be announced due to her fear of it. I've promised to have a stern talk with whomever is announcing to tell them that anything other than a normal voice saying Mr. & Mrs. is completely unacceptable lest you want to see exploding heads. Mothers are so weird.

stacey said...

such sweet pictures. You looked so "happy" in the garter pic. Just waiting for it to get over with?

kim-d said...

Okay, I practically started blubbering, looking at the pix of the Daddy-Kathnyn dance! :)

Let me just say ONE MORE TIME how absolutely beautiful you looked; I really love your hair. And your face. And your dress. And the truly happy glow about you. And your sweet Slappy. I mean, really, there's just something about a cute guy with a yarmulke! And I noticed he also has nice ears. Seriously, I don't know what it is about me and ears, but I ALWAYS notice people's ears. Small, neat and close to the head = nice ears. Maybe just cause mine aren't. Nice, that is. Or maybe just cause I AM as dorky and weird as "they" say. BWAHAHAHAHA!

And I think the garter hunt is a riot! If I would have been there, my wedding gift to you would have been teaching you not only how to get through the garter hunt, but also how to ENJOY it. BWAHAHAHAHA. I say keep trying until you're comfortable with it. Okay, I'll stop now :).

I will never tire of seeing your wedding pix.

Anonymous said...

Love the photos. Well except for the fact that we can't see Slappy.

Katie said...

I know. But really needs some anonymity. Especially since he's starting his residency applications. If he can be tied to this blog, he's in big trouble. They actually do online searches for resident applicants these days. I'm completely serious.

And I think I'd probably never be able to live with myself if I prevented him from getting a residency.

LauraMae said...

You are glowing in every picture! Thank you so much for sharing the pics that you are able!!!

nola said...

Illusion hands! Love it! And the ones of you and your dad. Lovely. Now going to get a cookie :)

Maitri said...

Pretty pictures and dress!