Fail.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Today has been screaming to be a blog entry all day.

First, all I dreamed about last night was being pregnant. Which is not helping the current psychosis. I'm not pregnant, I just have no irrefutable proof. Come on uterus, help a girl out.

Then, I watched some tv and procrastinated. Hard to imagine, I know.

Then, I decided it was time to stop procrastinating and I showered.

Then, I realized that I need to apply for student loans because my tuition for the fall is due next week for one school (yea community college) and the other is due later in the month. And I have money for neither. So I logged onto Citibank, where I've been borrowing money for school for years now and whom I'm pretty sure I owe my first born child (which could be any day now according to my subconscious). And I started a loan application, only to find that effective, um, now, they no longer loan money to students of either of the institutions I'll be attending. Awesome.

Then, I found another graduate loan place and fill out all the paperwork, did the credit check and got approved (at what I'm sure is a 20% interest rate because, hi, I have more debt than I can even probably calculate). But I plug on, and go to e-sign the loan. Wherein they prompt me for my PIN. I'm like, okay I don't remember assigning one, but that's cool, maybe they're connected to my bank? so I type it in. And I get a fail message, because that is not my PIN. Because I didn't do a FAFSA (that's the pin they wanted), which at no point prior to this did they indicate that I needed to do one which is a big reason that I chose this loan because honestly, I'd rather gnaw off my arm than fill out a FAFSA.

So fine, I'll print off the promissary note and mail it in. Fail again. I'm not using internet explorer, which also wasn't previously specified, so not only can I not download/print/mail my note, I also can't use the "back" button function because that's Windows specific. So I drag out the pc and get on the internet, determined to win this battle. I will pay my tuition. Aaaaand the internet and cable go out.

I took this as a sign that it was time to give up for a while and go to a coffeeshop to study, which was my original plan anyway. This loan could be done later when I'm trying to justify not studying again.

So I pack up my stuff and I realize that I cannot find my wallet. Which is weird because it's not in my purse and it's not in my bag, and the last time I saw it was last night when I was unloading groceries. I remember my wallet being in a grocery bag because I had not taken a purse to CVS and it was just easier to throw it in the plastic bag than carry everything separately. This all happened just a few short minutes before I decided that I should throw out a bunch of grocery bags before they ignited or melted from the heat of the refrigerator. Surely I must have noticed the heaviness of the bag before I threw them away? Or not. Or I put my wallet in a plastic bag.

A plastic bag that I threw away.

In the kitchen garbage.

Which I tied up and took out last night.

In the outside trashcan.

Which has been marinating in the sun all day.

Then, stood in the kitchen and contemplated all the shiny sharp objects before I went outside on my front porch and DUMPSTER DOVE through my own trash, going through the wrong trashbag first (seriously, it had to be my housemates' bathroom trash? I died) and then finding the right one and finding my wallet covered in bell pepper seeds and the remnants of what once was blue cheese, but is not more green/fuzzy cheese.

Then, I took another shower though no amount of soap in the universe will ever EVER make me feel clean again.

And now I'm at a coffee shop trying to pretend like I'm not the person who smells noticeably like bell peppers and blue cheese threw up.

(contest below this, only the brave need apply)

7 comments:

Lanny said...

Coffee shop??? I believe you should be at a bar after your day!

Here's to a better second half of the day!

Flea said...

Eww! At least the trash people hadn't come and taken it away!

Monkling said...

A shot or 2 of Kalua in that coffee would make you feel so much better...

nola said...

Niiiice. Sun has been relocating toys. And I get all OCD abt it and have been digging through my own trash lately. Moist cat food and all. Yours for a wallet; Mine for a plastic bracelet Sun already forgot and the magnetic "O" from the alphabet on the fridge. My findings? Trash, no toys. Dumb "O" was magnetized to the underside of my fridge. But at least I found it! See, OCD....

the queen said...

Purse sounds like a good idea right about now, doesn't it?

But I am sorry. Touching the trash is a nightmare in my house.

asthmagirl said...

Touching trash is the worst. I have issues just touching the trash can. I'm so glad it wasn't any worse than that!

Daisy Duke said...

And to think I was hoping to find my wallet in a dumpster last night.....