The Wedding Questionnaire: Part 3

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Okay, first, a couple of updates, then the finale. The contest will begin tomorrow, so be sure and come back sometime after then and check it out.

If you didn't know already, my friend Nola was a little jealous of all my medical maladies and decided to have her gallbladder removed in Dallas while on vacation. In all seriousness, hop over and wish her well because the experience sounds royally unpleasant, and no way is that car ride home going to be fun. Though I commend her on the entirely coherent blog today. Clearly she handles her anesthesia better than some of us.

In my own health update of sorts, the seroma is, well, different I guess. The wound has been getting smaller and smaller, which is GREAT and it has become increasingly difficult to pack, which is also a good sign. I gave my surgeon a call today and she said to see if I could force fluid out of the incision and if so, then to continue forcing it to drain until no more came out. I'll admit that I was a little skeptical that anything would happen because it hasn't really been draining much since Sunday, but low and behold, a rather copious quantity of bright yellow fluid came out upon my maneuvering. Blar. But, the incision is still pretty well closed, only a small part is open and it seems to be completely drained. And now, I am to keep the area really well compressed (2 sports bras and about 4 packages of gauze), so that it won't be able to fill itself back up with fluid. I have to repeat the routine in the morning to make sure it's not filling up again as seromas often do. If it stays dry and doesn't reform, then I can soon stop packing the incision, let it heal and we might be able to declare it finished.

The tricky part is, if the seroma (accumulation of proteinous fluid) reforms, it'll have to re-drain which means the incision will continue to not heal. Where this becomes a real problem is the honeymoon (as far as the wedding day, there are plenty of things we can do to deal with this, lots of wrapping of the boobs can occur), because I can't swim, ocean or pool, unless the incision is completely healed. It would suck to be in Hawaii and not be able to swim, but it would suck more to have a raging abscess, so I've made a decision that I will not let this ruin my wedding or honeymoon. The first vacation The Fiance and I ever took together was a cruise and I had a broken leg at the time (incidentally, not the same one as when we met) and subsequently a non-water-proof cast. And you know what? We had a damn good time. I will make it work, and I will enjoy my Hawaiian vacation. This my friends, is the power of positive thinking. Watch it work some miracles.

So anyways, now that I've driveled on about my boob for a while, I present you the remaining 2 questions. Sorry for the comment whoring yesterday. I've been in an odd mood lately and I just missed hearing from you. I promise I'll cut the whining to a minimum, I know y'all have lives and I certainly understand that you can't always leave comments. And, um, so perhaps I haven't commented on anyone's blog in an eon. Not a hypocrite at all.

Anyways, without further ado, the conclusion of the wedding questionnaire...

Question 7: What are the most important things for you in this relationship? What makes this relationship different from others that you have had?

(My response)
For me, respect and understanding have always been incredibly important. When TF and I met, I had been in a bad relationship where my significant other had tried to push me beyond a point I was comfortable with. That person was unable to see my need to slow things down. TF listened and let me know that he was happy stay in a holding-hands phase of a relationship for as long as that needed to happen. He respected me and my needs, without question. He never asked for more than I could give and he let me be who I was, not who he wanted me to be, that was and is invaluable.

TF makes time for me. Even though he’s in medical school, working for free in hospitals, studying for exams, reading up on strange diseases and trying to please his Attending Physicians, Residents and Interns, TF still finds a way to be with me each day. He is willing to get up at the crack of dawn to read a paper if it means spending that 30 minute window with me at night. He takes time to think about what I need, what we need and he really cares for me and for our relationship.

This relationship is different from others I’ve had because TF is different from any person I’ve known. He is literally the complete package. He has a goofy sense of humor, is incredibly intelligent, committed and focused (when he wants to be). He knows his limits, but isn’t afraid to try something new and he loves without reservation. TF never put me in a position where I felt like I had to choose between him and anything else, he made himself available and he let me be me. Before I met him, I genuinely did not believe in love. I thought it was a ruse, and now, I find myself more in love with him each day. Having him in my life has made my life seem so much more valuable and I feel like each day has a new purpose and I can see a future that wasn’t there before him. TF helped me find who I was, without forcing me to be something I wasn’t. And he has given me a future that I can’t wait to see. And no one before him has ever come close to filling those shoes.

(His response)
Ok, I’m not even gonna put the sarcastic answer of what is most important to me in this question. Really, it’s that no matter what I do or how I mess up, I still feel unconditionally loved, encouraged, and given the sense that I can do anything, even if I’m too lazy to get off my butt to do it. I have never felt this love, or felt so strongly that I can be who I am unconditionally and be just the right person for her.

Question 8: What is your vision for your future together? Where do you see yourself a few or several years from now?

(My response)
We have a few crazy years ahead of us. In a year, we will be uprooting ourselves to wherever TF matches in a residency. Oddly, I don’t find this even slightly unnerving. I know that it means starting over again, but I’m just so excited to have a life with him that all the rest sort of fades away. Where exactly we may be, I have no idea and frankly, no cares or concerns.

In a few years, I see him finishing his residency, me finally finishing the graduate program I am working towards and hopefully, beginning a family. I see us having several kids and watching them grow into young adults. I see us growing old together and I see our love, though imperfect, enduring whatever obstacles the future holds. I see our lives full of happiness, family, love and life itself. Our future isn’t crystal clear or planned to a t, but I genuinely believe deep within my heart, that it will be wonderful, regardless of where or how we get to where we’re going because I see myself living the rest of my life with my best friend.

(His response)
MARRIAGE! He he. I imagine moving to a new state in a year, helping Katie through her schooling as much as she’s helped me, and after being out of school a year or two, starting a family with her. Two, maybe three kids, have not decided if there is a gender I’d prefer. Sorry, I have obviously petered out by the end of these questions, so hopefully Katie has provided more. I love Katie more than anything or anybody in my life, and can not wait to both begin our lives together, and to live all our years together for the rest of my life. I can’t wait for her to be the mother of my children, my partner through what will be an amazing life together, and my best friend to talk well into our golden years. She is my future, and it looks amazing.

(All together now, awwwwwww)


joanne said...

Wow I had a whole comment ready to go and it went "poof." Well i'm up late so let me be the first to say "awwwwwwwwww!" I enjoyed the questionnaire/answers, sounds like you two are on the same page (that's a good way to start). And the U2 story, love it.
Glad the boob is behaving. Take care.

the queen said...

Jealous. Ah, for an articulate husband.

Anonymous said...

Wow you lucky girl, not that he isn't lucky also but you know what I mean, there aren't that many good guys but plenty of us good girls. Sounds like u2 ;)are well on your way to a wonderful life together. Glad the boob is doing better, hope it continues to get better and you can get it wet while on the honeymoon.

Flea said...

Oh! I'm all verklempt! What an absolute sweetheart you're marrying! Keep tending to that boob so the two of you can enjoy the well-earned honeymoon to the fullest!

April said...

Where can I get one like him! So happy for you two. (and praying the boob thing gets cleared up quick!)

Anonymous said...

Awwwww! Thanks for the pimping. LOVE the positive thinking! Your honeymoon will be so wonderful, swimming or not. So happy for you two!