An open letter to my anesthesiologist...

Friday, April 25, 2008

Dear Dr. Anesthesia-

First, you demonstrated such overwhelming confidence when you spent 15 minutes rummaging around looking for a gigantic needle of anesthetic because you'd just found out about my egg allergy. It was written IN HUGE letters on the chart you've had since Friday. Really? Is it that difficult to read and figure that out not while I'm in the room waiting?

Second, give a girl some anxiety relief before the main event. Because when you injected me with the anesthetic and my tongue started tingling (which was apparently normal) I freaked the hell out and all you told me was to breathe. Though spectacularly helpful, the fact that you had just climbed the walls to try to find an anesthetic without eggs, I was 100% convinced that I was having an anaphylactic reaction and breathing did not calm that fear.

Next, this intubation stuff. I'm assuming you've done it before, perhaps once or maybe even twice, yes? I've had it done before, with no real problems, apparently, it can be done correctly. On the other hand, this last one, the one that YOU did, was really really really bad. Like really bad. My throat is ripped to shreds, I can't sleep at night and frankly, it hurts way more than my boob. Oh, and I can only take tylenol, which as you can imagine, is incredibly helpful.

Finally, thanks for the extra dose of anesthesia that I just found out about yesterday. Apparently, you are to blame for my jackassedry. If someone tells you four different times that they have problems with post-anesthetic nausea and vomiting, perhaps giving them extra anesthesia such that they still aren't able to fully eat 3 days later IS NOT cool.

I just wanted to thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for making it impossible for me to sleep or eat. Because really, I needed something to keep my mind occupied while I waited for Tuesday to come.

Sincerely,
Katie

8 comments:

kim-d said...

Jackassedry? Yet ANOTHER ONE THAT I AM SOOOO STEALING FROM YOU!!!

And, apparently, sometimes that anesthesia stuff can make some people a little ornery, too. BWAHAHAHA! Here's the rule of thumb when it comes to you and ALL THINGS medical, my dear. If it's way wrong, totally effed up and a complete mess, then it's gonna happen to you. We can call this Katie's Law of Medical Dealings.

It doesn't help, I know, but at least now we have a label for the phenomenon :).

Jackassedry. Snicker, snicker, snort...

lace1070 said...

Awesome letter ~ quite eloquent and well versed. I should have you write letters to my two local surgeons who didn't believe I had tethered cord and said that the surgeons who I worship were smoking crack! Hope u are feeling better soon ~ Hugs ~ Lace

Monkling said...

I say you send that letter out to the bastard - exactly the way it is.

Anonymous said...

i have never heard of anyone with any worse luck than you...not sure what to think or why that is

Anonymous said...

You really need to speak to the head of anesthesiology or at the very least the patient advocate or rep at that hospital. There's no excuse for that anesthesiologust's actions. It sounds like he never read your file before he saw you and he didn't double-check with you for allergies. Any good anesthesiologist knows to double-check with the patient before entering the OR. It sounds like you are going to have postop bronchitis. I had that after a surgery in 1987. I've had over three dozen procedures so am quite acquainted with anesthesia and what works for me and what doesn't.

Anonymous said...

I am officially de-lurking today to wish you all the best, tell you to take care, and thank-you for the best new word i've heard in a long ime. jackassedry....I can hardly wait to use it!

jdub
myrandominsanities.blogspot.com

Flea said...

I'm with the others - jackassedry is a phenomenal word. I probably won't use it on my blog, but I will use it in real life, thank-you-very-much.

Daisy Duke said...

I'm sorry you feel so crummy. Anesthesia does the same thing to me- vomit-city. All I've ever had are throat surgeries, so the combination of the two is just lovely. They don't seem to care when you tell them either. Jerks...or in your (much) better words: Jackassedry.