MedProm 2008...aka, why my Fiance is not being spoken to.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

So last night was MedProm, the third consecutive year I've gone. I will share the MedProm 2006 story soon, but I feel I need to recount last night's shenanigans before I forget them, though given the fact that I'm not speaking to The Fiance right now, I doubt that'll happen soon.

(I should probably preface this with the fact that I do very much love my Fiance, but he has been known on occasion to be a, what's the word? Oh yes, an ass. This is one such situation.)

As I had mentioned, I wasn't really stoked about the idea of not drinking because a) everyone there is drinking (for FREE) and b) for whatever reason everyone seems to think I'm pregnant (which I am NOT, for the record). So we had dinner with a good friend and her boyfriend, and I don't even know how exactly it came up, but literally at the first opportunity, The Fiance told our friends that I wasn't drinking because I was pregnant (which I am NOT).

So for the next like 20 minutes, they talked about how, you know, since we're getting married in less than 2 months, that we could just pretend like it was a honeymoon baby and be surprised when I delivered at 7 months and the baby the 7 pounds. They would. not. let. it. go. I pulled out every bit of proof I had (without telling them why I wasn't drinking), but it's not like I could take a shot of tequila and prove it. I was not thrilled to put it mildly.

So we go to the actual dance and find some of our friends and he told them too! Bah. Only we're not really close to these friends, so it was about 3 times more awkward and more difficult to prove that it wasn't true because they didn't realize it was a joke initially.

These friends told another friend and even though I did my very best to dissuade all of them, not one, not two, but three people came up and RUBBED MY STOMACH. Seriously. And when I freaked out they told me it was fine, that's supposedly good luck. Hi, I just got all dressed up and tried to look pretty and all you people are telling me that I look pregnant (WHICH I AM NOT, have I mentioned that part yet?). It helped that The Fiance thought they were rubbing my stomach like a Buddah belly. Please, please insinuate that I am fat, unrelated to the imaginary pregnancy.

I wanted to die. And to burn my dress. I think we pretty much guaranteed that I won't be wearing that again.

The real highlight of the evening was just before we were leaving when The Fiance was being obnoxious (I know, given this story, it's hard to believe that's even possible) and was talking with half a spring roll hanging out of his mouth. I, without even thinking, pulled it out of his mouth and threw it at his forehead. He walked around with gunk all over his face for a while before someone cleaned it up for him (not me).

Of course, that isn't even the tip of the ice burg of crap I have planned for him, but boy did it feel good. So please, join me in telling him that it is NOT COOL to tell people that your Fiancee is pregnant when she's a) not; and b) dressed up in a formal dress.

12 comments:

nola said...

If it's a girl, I have lots of clothes you can borrow. ;)

Seriously, please tell me he slept on the couch!!

Did you have fun otherwise?

Katie said...

You suck.

No, he slept like a baby in his bed. I did have fun otherwise, though I'm gonna be honest, being the only sober person in a group of drunkards, is not so fun.

Pontchartrain Pete said...

So you passed up the opportunity tell them all, "It's not his."?

nola said...

What you should do is tell The Fiance hey, guess what? I AM pregnant! And work it!

Katie said...

Oh I did, believe me. I even started trying to describe my baby daddy, but for whatever reason, that didn't stick quite like the pregnancy rumor did.

Anonymous said...

What the hey - go with it. Throw yourself an early shower and request pedicures, pre-natal massages, and aromatherapy sessions. Oh, and have serious, immediate cravings for beignets, po'boys, and other treats.

Anna in IL

the queen said...

Next MedProm, pull a freshly used dirty tampon out from under the dress and throw it at his head.

Flea said...

I smock, meaning that in NO you can dress either a boy or girl in heirloom finery made by moi.

I dunno. You love him. I keep going back to that borderline mother thing. He learned this behavior from her. It's what BPDs do. They disregard, humiliate, then act hurt and innocent, making you the bad guy. Not that he's BPD, but that's it definitely learned. Maybe that's a good conversation to have.

Kelly said...

That sucks! I hope you have bigger things planned for him. I remember about a week after I had my twins some guy had the nerve to say to me in the store "when are you due" I started crying like a hormonal mess. LOL
Kelly

Daisy Duke said...

BISMOW announced a few weeks ago at law-school party that due to my recent moodiness & frequent trips to the bathroom "we" thought I was pregnant. Never mind my teensy eensy bladder and the copious amounts of water I've been drinking as a result of trying to not guzzle soda or coffee at work.

He got The Stare of Death for the rest of the night, a stern lecture, and more moodiness for days to follow.

Men can be morons.

Sherri said...

Congratulations Katie! I hope its a girl!! Just kidding.

Maybe he thought he was being funny and also trying to distract you from your upcoming surgery because he knows how worried you are about it and thought this would help......yeah, I'm not buying it either.

Fiance, I'm sure you're not an ass ALL the time, but you knew this would send Katie over the edge, should have let it go and not ruined her enjoyment of the event. Especially when you knew she couldn't drink.

And, Katie? Seriously? You threw an egg roll at his head? Just for the record now that you're living in the south and need to behave like a southern belle, we throw DRINKS at their heads. Preferably still in the glass.

Ness said...

Oh man, Fiance, you are dead meat! You know what Katie's goin' through and if I could reach you, I would wring your neck! Not cool, man, not cool at all.

Hugs, Katie and although it won't help, realize that the male species has 2 assholes...one they poop out of and one they show frequently.