Toilet Paper Revolution

Sunday, February 10, 2008

It has come to my attention that there is a certain male-specific deficit as related to a very specific household tasks (note that my male specimen is actually quite adept at other household chores and is very very appreciated. Very appreciated). I'm going to go ahead and assume it's the genes contained in that extra arm of the X chromosome that breaks off to become a Y in the male species, but either way, I've come up with an easy, 9 step program to help.

Step 1: Recognize the problem. Note that this is not even a full roll on top because the female did not put the new roll on right away in secret hope that the male might do it himself. Secret, and now dashed, hope.

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Step 2: Remove new roll from top of rack, place somewhere clean, which in my house means, um, outside.

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Step 3: Pinch end of holder and push towards the middle. There's a spring-like gadget inside that will allow it to sneak out of the rack. This can be done from either side, don't feel tied down to the left side first.

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Step 4: Now that one side is free, just ease the other side out of its nesting place.

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Step 5: Discard empty roll. You know, in the garbage can (which I considered taking a picture of just to help in the guidance of the throwing away, but I'm pretty sure no one really wants to see a picture of my bathroom trashcan. You're welcome.)

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Step 6: Slide new roll onto core. Note that per male's request, the paper is rolling over the top, not under the bottom.

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Step 7: Put one side (again, either side) into it's nesting hole while holding onto the other end.

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Step 8: Applying gentle pressure as in step 3 above, push the end towards the middle to decrease the length of the rod so that it will fit back into it's spot. (Also, note that this can be done while wearing a beautiful engagement ring. The jewelry picking-out area of genetics is not at all deficient)

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Step 9: Viola!

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You too can take part in the toilet paper revolution. Just share these simple 9 steps with a man in your life. Read them aloud with large gestures if need be.

I have a dream that someday I will live in a world where men and women are both capable of changing the God-forsaken roll of toilet paper.


Anonymous said...

Damn, for just three more steps, I can kick my drinking habit. This is MEN we are talking about--you need to condense that into no more than 2 steps! :)

~~Silk said...

The problem is not that they don't know how - it's that men see no REASON to put the roll onto the holder. It's actually handier and easier to use off the rod.

Ladies? Any good reasons out there? I can't think of one.

brneyedgal967 said...

We just moved into a new-to-us house and some of the bathrooms have a spindle post attached to the wall that you put the TP on, like the kind used for paper towels, only shorter. My kids love that.

For the traditional TP holder, I'm with hubby - TP over the top please. Easier to spin and grab that way.

Anonymous said...

viva la revolucion! did not expect to see a series of toilet paper images on a monday, but at least that lets me start the dreaded monday on a good note. :)

Liz said...


the queen said...

I showed this to Gary and his comment was (with apologies to brneyedgal967):

"Toilet paper over the TOP? That's the tacky way to do it.