The Verdict

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

The verdict on the "spitting stitches" is that, well, they're spitting stitches. They're going to spit out until my body stops rejecting them. They're not crazy unusual, but they're not normal for neurosurgery either. I am told not to be concerned about the fact that the same kinds of stitches that are busting out of the back of my head are also holding a cow's heart patch on the lining of my brain, but I also don't follow directions very well, so I continue to be concerned anyway because, um, it's the lining of my brain and I think it justifies some good concern.

The hand weakness is perplexing and he really doesn't know how to explain it or really what the best course of action is. There's a good chance things are still just swollen in my head and that it is irritating a nerve. I did have hand weakness before, so the swelling scenario fits nicely. He said to let physical therapy torture me a few more weeks, unless it gets markedly worse, we'll wait and watch (which seems to be the doctor mantra. I got told that by a doctor just yesterday, ironically about something I wasn't even worried about until she told me we were going to wait and watch). If it's not better in a few weeks I'll go back for new radiographic studies to see if we can figure out what's going on. In the meantime I'm going to try not to drop my (fixed) computer.

I am having a very difficult day, and as glad as I am that he was not gravely concerned about my hand, I'm still concerned and I'm not doing even a slightly good job of not being that. I'm pretty sure it's about 97% hormones and 2% anxiety disorder and 1% not getting enough sleep last night, but regardless I alternate between wanting to cry and wanting to just sleep for the rest of my life.

Here's to hoping that tomorrow is better. It's got to be, right?

(and the blank post below this is my computer being stupid. It's fixed, but now everytime I go to the "edit" page here, my browser crashes. And one of the 12 times it crashed before I was able to type in a real post it posted a blank post, which I cannot delete, because the browser keeps crashing. Pretty awesome, huh?)


Anonymous said...

1. You type well with a weak left hand.

2. I HATE THE WAIT AND SEE!!!!! HATE it! Rrrrr!

3. I know not being able not to worry. Do your best to distract yourself. Go to a movie; play Wii; get the fiance to take you to dinner; read; do sudoku or crossword puzzles. Do something to occupy your mind.

Continuing to keep you in my thoughts.

kim-d said...

Oh for pete's sake; wait and see. That's the stupidest thing yet for anybody in the esteemed medical community to say, yet it remains to be mighty popular. Aaaargh!