Mardi Gras Mania, part 1

Saturday, January 19, 2008

I got tagged by Kim to "think differently" and I am going to do that tomorrow, but I think that it's important that I share the Mardi Gras memories while they're fresh.

Tonight was the first big parade of the Mardi Gras season. Up until tonight I'd always told people that Mardi Gras was exceptionally family friendly because most of the parades really are. I've to date never seen anyone's breasts and besides the fight we were in with a crazy woman last year, there's hardly even any violence (that's another story for another time). Krewe du Vieux, is not one of those parades. It is satirical, donkey-pulled, with many large fake penii and well, a lot of grown up fun. People were rip roaring drunk by 5:30 (we actually saw one woman and I swear she was walking horizontally, it was amazing) and the parade walkers were hysterical.

First, there are a few things you should know about New Orleans and Mardi Gras if you're not from here or haven't ever been. The French Quarter is generally disgusting, I'm sorry, it is. You know the instant you step foot in its boundaries because the stench of vomit reaches up and slaps you in the face. I will admit that the vomit slapping was somewhat missing tonight, but that might have something to do with the fact that it was ass cold the whole time verses the last time we were down there it was a balmy 98 degrees. You can see how that enhances the vomit.

Next, anything that touches the ground in the French Quarter is to be immediately abandoned. If you drop your credit card, you call and cancel it. If you drop your shoe, you leave it and saw your foot off later. Really. One guy picked up a set of beads from the ground and threw them at me and I subtly moved away. I do not want vomit beads. Other than that, the only thing you really need to know is that generally speaking, the more you shout and dance and yell, the more stuff you get. And even though I wasn't feeling fabulous, I did some white girl dancing and some minor yelling. And it worked.

Usually our Mardi Gras booty consists of billions of beads and doubloons and a few other nick-nacks, not this time. The first thing I got was a bagel. A mini-bagel to be precise. We had been told that "golden bagels" were the prized toss at this parade (a mockery of the golden coconuts of Zulu, of which we got 3 last year, again, another story for another time), though this was just a good old fashioned cinnamon raisin. I did not eat it. In the chaos of the next 30 minutes of the parade we snagged beads, doubloons, cups, a stuffed green whale, two squirt guns, two fake flowers, temporary tattoos, a bumper sticker, condoms, a small package of surgical lubricant, a ring, a jello shot (which I also did not eat, but gave to a friend because hello, never drink something you didn't see made in front of you...) and two cat shaped suckers. I'm sure I'm leaving out many prized catches, but you get the gist.

But what I'm really excited about is THREE sets of glass beads. To me, glass beads are the shit. They are rare and I love them. I even got a set of black ones, which are even more rare and special. I'm stoked.

Stay tuned, the next installment of Mardi Gras Mania might include description of the Confederate Flag beads we came into possession of last year and the horrible picture that The Fiance won't let me post.


Anonymous said...

I miss Mardi Gras! It sounds like you got some great throws, and you didn't even have to fight anyone for them this year! :D

And you are so right; the French Quarter smells much better in colder weather. It was almost unnoticeable at Christmas one year. (The smell that is. The Quarter itself is never subtle, as you know.)

Anonymous said...

Glass beads are the bomb! I forgot about the jello-shots!!

Glad you had fun!

Anonymous said...

I am fascinated with the whole Mardi Gras thing. Glad this is only a part 1. That means you'll write more about it. I want to go to New Orleans.

Daisy, Just Daisy said...

I miss Mardi Gras soo much. I still have a hangar with all my prized beads from over the years...including a set of Captain Morgan beads that left and imprint on my face when they hit me. Sigh.