I'm down, would you like to kick?

Thursday, January 31, 2008

(Friday afternoon addendum: Since I finished typing this entry I have also gotten one large Tetanus shot and a parking ticket. I'm off to start drinking.)

Today has been one of those days. Or as my mother put it, "a Katie day." Ah ha. Ah ha.

Work was vastly uneventful aside from the twenty minute conversation I had with The Fiance trying to guide him through Whole Foods to the ingredients I needed but forgot to tell him about. Apparently that twenty minutes was like a teeny tiny fraction of the amount of time they spent there, and also, the entire refrigerator is filled to beyond capacity. Seriously, we're eating dinner out every single night, who is going to eat all of this? And more importantly, who is going to clean out the refrigerator when we don't? Oh yes, that would be me.

About one this afternoon I was informed that all 3 parades tonight were cancelled on account of the weather. Little did I realize at the time that it was because of a Tornado Watch (still in effect, as I type this) and the Severe Thunderstorm Warning. I think the National Weather Service captured the mood well with it's description:

"THIS IS A DANGEROUS STORM. IF YOU ARE IN ITS PATH...PREPARE IMMEDIATELY FOR DAMAGING WINDS...DESTRUCTIVE HAIL... AND DEADLY CLOUD TO GROUND LIGHTNING. PEOPLE OUTSIDE SHOULD MOVE TO A SHELTER... PREFERABLY INSIDE A STRONG BUILDING BUT AWAY FROM WINDOWS."

Not dramatic at all.

Anyway, after work but before the deadly lightning storm I had an eye appointment, which is always fun because my eyes do not focus properly and as such it always takes three years of, "1 or 2? 3 or 4?" before we agree to just let me see at 20/40. We took the MIL because she wanted to walk down the street where the eye doctor was located, but of course, as soon as we got there it started to rain (her next suggestion was that since the parades were cancelled that we just go hang out in French Quarter. Excuse me whilst I start tightening this noose around my neck). So since we had to pay to park I opened my umbrella to keep us dry while we did the pay/ticket thing. Only, my umbrella, which is spring loaded, wouldn't open, so I grabbed it at the precise moment it spring opened and a small metal hook got stuck in my finger. Which caused it to bleed A LOT. I actually walked into the eye doctor holding my hand and a puddle of blood. Thankfully after a few minutes it stopped, but nothing like a little drama to set the tone for the appointment.

And unlike the previous 15 years of eye doctor appointments, today the doctor was not satisfied with the 20/40 solution, no today we found a solution that allows me to see at 20/30. The only draw back is that it's bifocals and I'm not 60 years old yet. BIFOCALS. And did you know that bifocals are the mack-daddy expensive-est glasses that one could possibly need or buy? Because they are. And it's super helpful that my insurance gives me a 20% discount on my glasses because now it's only like 400 dollars instead of 450. Just wait until I tell The Fiance that we won't be honeymooning because Grandma needs her glasses instead.

Again, not dramatic (or offensive I'm sure) at all.

And the day's not even over yet. I'm afraid to go to dinner. I just know I'm going to end up with food poisoning or an allergic reaction, or I'll punch the MIL in the face. You know, those things beyond my scope of control.

6 comments:

Monkling said...

No parades? Geez, what are they afraid of a little tornado??

Bifocals aren't so terrible. Of course this is coming from someone who's old enough to be your mother. But hey, better than grandmother, eh?

Nola (www.nolanotes.com) said...

Hey, I thought you were gonna tell us you poked your eye out with that umbrella! So, there!

Can you at least partake of libations during these dinners?

brneyedgal967 said...

Find spot on wall.
Bang head repeatedly.

If that doesn't work,
Find someone elses head to bang.

MIL was put off by the RAIN in NOLA? Has she ever been there before??

My turn to beat head against wall.

Hope tomorrow's better,
Tammy
http://thecolorofhome.blogspot.com

kim-d said...

Awww, sweetie, I'm so sorry--bifocals? Cause, ya know, I'm 51, which is older even than Monk (really!) and I DON'T HAVE BIFOCALS! bwahahahaha! And now I'm sorry for laughing. But I just can't help it!

What I wanna know is this--did you do something really awful in a past life and karma (not the kitty) is just now finding you? But, ya know what, punching MIL in the face? Do it!!! You could say you didn't know it was her because you don't have your new bifocals yet. While you see the chance, take it! (stealing the words from a song that you are probably too young to know).

Ann Marie said...

sorry honey.. I snorted while reading this today.

No parades.. what are they stupid.

kim-d said...

I just want you to know that, as a show of solidarity, I went out and hoisted a few myself last night. While the Lemon Drop took the edge off, it was the 22 oz. pink with cherry and orange slice Flying Fortress that sealed the deal. Really...go straight to the drinking. You'll be telling your MIL how much you love her by the end of the evening--BWAHAHAHA!