Sunday, December 9, 2007

I appreciate everyone's comments and kindness. I'm feeling a little less insane today, which is good. I was just having a hard day yesterday and to be honest, putting it down here, even though it was embarrassing to see how self-involved I was, really helped.

So since yesterday was a varitable tirade of bad things, I'd like to do one today where I just list good things. It probably will be a lot less dramatic than yesterday, call it Karmatic balance.

Since the surgery I have had precisely zero occipital headaches. I'm not naive enough to assume that I'll never have another one because my brain is still hanging down in my spinal canal, but going 12 days without one is like a miracle. I haven't hardly taken any pain killers in the past few days, I've been able to cut back a lot on the nausea meds I've been on (and the anxiety ones, but that was aided by no longer worrying myself about impending brain surgery).

One thing I noticed as soon as I was up and about after surgery is my vision. I'm not sure my ability to focus is better (I actually think I need a stronger prescription, but the same thing happened to my grandfather each time he had spinal surgery, so maybe that's normal?), but my peripheral vision is incredible. I can actually see to the sides. I was living in a tunnel before and now I can see such a wider range.

Before I was having spontaneous muscle twitches in my legs and arms, often, sometimes upwards of 10 times a day and not while I was trying to go to sleep either. We never tied them to the chiari and for all I know they may be entirely unreleated, but I have not had one since the surgery. Not one.

At my friend's wedding in Nashville we had to close our eyes and pray and when I did that, I literally almost fell over. I'm not going to pretend like I can win coordination Olympics, but it is so much better and I'm pretty sure PT has that on the list of to-dos.

I have had calls and flowers and facebook messages and all kinds of things from people in my life reminding me that they're praying for me. I have you here reading and not thinking me completely insane and right now I'm so incredibly blessed with friends and family who care about me and who are thoughtful enough to remind me of that a lot.


the queen said...

See, this is crazy talk! The Hair Rant was normal in my world.

kim-d said...

Again, agreeing with the queen. You've known me long enough to know that I Rant about lots less than hair. And the Angst? OY! At least once a week, it seems, I moaning about something--usually having to do with my apparent inability to play well with others. And I'm 51 freakin' years old, for pete's sake! And have not had any brain surgery or depression-inducing pain meds.

I will say this, though, my Harry little friend, your hair grows so darn fast that by the time The Wedding Day arrives, it may not be that much of an issue. But if it is, you might want to consider braiding the armpit hair and incorporating it in for Your Wedding 'Do. Hehe..snort-laugh..hehe.

I just couldn't resist. Oh, I am sorry. Very sorry. Really, very sorry. Remember, I love ya. :)