Holiday Redux, part the first

Thursday, December 27, 2007

So Christmas has come and passed, and overall, it was a pretty good holiday. Especially for my family, which is essentially comprised of the most manner-less human beings on the face of the earth.

Christmas Eve dinner was suddenly the most grown-up affair I've attended in a while, but not sophistication wise, like, NC-17-wise. I guess the fact that my youngest step-sister is almost an adult is to blame for the discussions of bongs, panties and several other seriously inappropriate dinner topics. It was disturbing, but the wine helped. Oh did the wine help. The highlight of the evening was when my grandmother intentionally re-gifted a gift to my sister that she had bought. It was a souvenir from Australia- a Santa Claus in a bathing suit and while all the rest of us got new trinkets, she got her souvenir back.

On Christmas day we got up early, opened all our loot from my mom (too many good things to list, but included a coat, a gift card to Ann Taylor, a gift card to DSW and a travel makeup kit that is awesome), went to my dad's opened up the loot from them (which included matching shirts for all the girls and matching shirts for the boys- the Fiance pulled away with 3 long sleeved blue shirts...from the same person...) and then The Fiance spent 2 hours de-bugging my step-sister's laptop, which after running Spybot twice still had over 800 infections. Perhaps this is why you shouldn't buy a laptop at 16? But nobody ever listens to me.

At 3 we went to my aunt and uncles for Dictator Christmas, which was pretty nice, though I was not the only person unhappy about the menu dictatorship. My aunt made a different recipe, my uncle bought rolls and accidentally burned even those and my aunt forgot her fruit salad altogether.

My youngest cousin has some virus that involves a never-ending fever and some barfing, so she did not attend. She stayed home and played Wii bowling for hours on end, dressed up as Snow White. Ah to be 3 1/2 again. My second youngest cousin (he's 6), ate more food than any person I've ever seen before. If he vomited last night it was not from any virus he caught from his sister, it was from the 6 slices of tri-tip, the 2 servings of potatoes, the candy cane, the chocolate cupcake and vanilla ice cream, and the marshmallows he picked up off the ground from the marshmallow gun fight (long story for another time). It was like a train wreck. You didn't want to watch, and at the same time, you wanted to see if you could make him eat anything else.

The highlight of this particular event were when my tactless cousin asked me what surgery I was going to have next Christmas, because I seemed to be enjoying the med-a-palooza. Yea. It's a peach. Please, sir, can I have some more? I really hate people who assume that because you have health problems that you enjoy them. And because I couldn't duck, when the annual gun right (fake foam-shooting guns) happened, she shot me in the face repeatedly and thought it was hilarious. She reloaded and only shot at me for upwards of 30 minutes. I didn't do much in retaliation, and instead of pointing out the fact that she's in a dead-end job with no education, no money and no steady boyfriend, I'll just consider it something that is being taken care of Karmatically speaking.

And then this coming Friday we celebrate Hanukkah with The Fiance's family. And I know what you're thinking, but it's never too late to celebrate a holiday that involves presents. Never.

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