9 things I dislike about myself

Sunday, November 18, 2007

(This one was originally called 9 things I hate about myself, but I toned it down a little. And I'm going to follow it up with a positive one tomorrow, but I felt like starting with what I love about myself would be a little braggy, you know?)

9. The aforementioned procrastination. I have tried so much to make this change, and yet, I still procrastinate all the time. Sometimes I catch a glimpse of what life is like when I do things on time and I love it. And then I get another bill from a collections company and suddenly re-lose the ability to do things in a timely fashion.

8. I am horribly horribly indecisive. I've actually paid to get The Fiance to make decisions for me. I'll buy him dinner if he'll choose the location. I don't know where this specific issue comes from, but it's bad. And he's not especially good at decision making either. Many a ridiculous argument have spurred from this.

7. My hair is in a constant state of not straightness and not curliness. I can make it do either, but I'll never be able to wake up in the morning, run a comb through my hair and leave. And I know we all want what we can't have, but I'm pretty sure that no one wants to get up an extra half an hour early even on lazy days to do their hair.

6. My (kinda nasty) habit of picking at my lips. I have excessively chapped lips and I mess with it all the time. I don't even realize I'm doing it until someone points it out or I've made myself bleed. I'm pretty sure there's an actual name for that kind of subconscious habit, but that's less important that my desire to make myself stop.

5. A lot of my past. None of which I care to elaborate on.

4. My inability to forget anything. Seems like a positive trait, yes? No. This is something that plagues my daily existence. If something bad has happened, it's permanently engraned in my mind. Anything negative anyone has said to or about me rings in my ears forever. I cannot move on, like ever. I can put on a happy face and pretend like nothing's wrong, but I will always keep that image or that sound bit in the back of my head.

3. My total inability to lie. Do you know how much easier my life would be if I could lie? I'm terrible at it. To me, for a lie to seem believable, you have to implant as many details in as possible. So if The Fiance were to ask me if that shirt I was wearing was new and I wanted to lie and say no, I'd start rambling about the location and events that led up to the purchase of the not-new shirt and how could he not remember it? Whereas, simplying saying, "no, it's not new" would more than suffice. I lie pretty efficiently over email, but only because I can proofread like 1200 times to make sure it's all air-tight.

2. My constant anxiety. As someone who very much likes being in control of everything, not being able to control that drives me completely bananas. What I wouldn't give to wake up one day without my mind worrying at full speed about any and everything.

1. My belly button. It's big, it's deep and even when I weighed far less than any person ever should, it was still excessively large and ugly.

4 comments:

Lanny said...

Geez we're a lot alike!

kim-d said...

Oh oh. That makes three of us. My belly button is really ugly too! And that thing in the head? I call it the ticker tape that keeps running through my head. And we don't even wanna get going on "our pasts." Oy. Some OOPSIES, even. But this I can tell you, Katie...in about 15-20 years, you will no longer care as much. And by the time you're 50, you won't care at all.

JanFisher said...

Oh my gosh...I have been following your site for some time now but have never commented (I know I'm a lurker!) BUT, I have the same nasty habit at picking at my lips! I never thought anyone else did that....I hate it but it is so hard to stop. My husband and kids are always catching me and saying "stop picking your lips!" I'm glad to know I'm not alone in that habit!
I love reading your posts....
good luck with your surgery..I know you'll do fine. Sometimes the worry leading up to something is worse than the actual thing you are dreading!
Jan Fisher
Champaign Ill

Ashley said...

I've never signed your guestbook (I'm one of your readers from Canada) But I read this and I'm similar in many of the traits you listed... I also pick at my lips... I just can't stand the feeling of the dried skin there... my hair is also semi-straight/wavy, I'm the worst procrastinator, and I also don't forget much and worry way too much for my own good