An open letter to the customers of Walmart

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Dear Walmart Shoppers-

I do not mean to lump all Walmart shoppers together, because, as a resident of a lot of different places, I've seen some nice Walmarts, however, something about being in a Walmart seems to bring out the worst in all of you who go there. It's like a transformation takes place when you walk in the door.

When in said store, it is polite to acknowledge that other people exist. Running into me and looking back as though I was an inconvenience in your life is not a proper way to react to other people. Additionally, talking about me as you run into me is even less appreciated. It's not challenging to not walk into people, in fact, it might even be easier on your body in general to switch directions than to plow into other people. Just a thought.

I appreciate that having multiple children is difficult and I'm going to forego my thoughts on the simplicity of birth control, especially for those under the age of 20 years old with multiple children, however, if you have multiple children and are in Walmart, please don't ignore them. See, it really was challenging for me to ignore your child while he SCREAMED at me, so I know you must have been trying. And yes, it was cute that his idea of counting was "2! 4! 5! 6! 7! 9!" It was less cute when he grabbed the item we were returning and screamed "MINE MINE MINE MINE" over and over. The least cute part was a tie between when he started spitting on us and when you totally freaking ignored your kid. You see, I get that you're busy, but your child was making more noise that any human being I've ever encountered and you couldn't even give him the time of day. Gee, I wonder why he's so damn loud?

If you happen to work at Walmart, your english needs to be intelligible. I'm not speaking about non-english speakers, I'm talking about slang-talking mumblers. You cannot be irritated with my asking you to repeat the statement 4 times when you neither increase the volume of the statement or decrease the speed at which it is said any of the 3 previous times I asked. I'm not an imbecile, I just need you to say what you need aloud. Weird, right?

And really? Would it kill you to put shoes or shorts on your children? I mean really? Is it difficult? I've met a number of small children, lived with some and none of them have been so tempermental that I couldn't put pants or shoes on them. I do not wish to see your childs diaper or underwear and it seems so incredibly unsanitary to have them shoeless that I actually feel nauseated thinking about it.

Finally, frozen pizzas should not be returnable. They just shouldn't be, especially when they're not frozen anymore.

Sincerely,
Target Lover

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh yes! I know your pain, Fresno has three Walmarts, all crap stores, no one knows where anything is, and what's more, they really don't give a shit. Now they are opening a 24 hour Walmart in Clovis, and people are just not understanding that with that "convenience" comes the kind of freaks that want to buy socks and condoms at 3 am. Gross gross gross.

Anti-Walmart, Pro-Target,

Alicia

Lanny said...

Dear Target Lover,
So sorry you don't want my formerly frozen peas. The problem is I didn't want them either. My husband used them to, um, keep the pain and swelling down after his vasectomy. Well, seriouly, could you eat those peas after that? Me either. That's why I returned them. They weren't going to be used by me, so it just made sense to return them. I couldn't just throw them out, there's starving people ya know.
Sincerely,
No More Peas Please

KIDDING!!!!!

The shoeless diapered kids bother me too, but what really grosses me out are the diapers that hang to the child's knees because they are so full. Poor kiddo! That's just not right!

kim-d said...

There is a Wal-Mart that is, unfortunately, right on my way home from work. It is the worst Wal-Mart ever, both in terms of customers and employees. Five minutes of being inside that place and I was ready to commit homicide. It finally got to the point where, whenever I would stop there, I would sit in my vehicle in the parking lot and give myself a pep talk before going in..."you know what it's going to be like; stay calm; just get your stuff and go; it's not worth getting in a huff over; you can do it..."

Now, however, MY BRAND-SPANKIN'-SHINY-NEW SUPERTARGET JUST OPENED which is, fortunately, EVEN MORE on my way home from work--like, RIGHT ON THE WAY HOME FROM WORK!!! Plus...SuperTarget = Target + Full Grocery Store = Very Happy Kim Due to NO MORE WAL-MART.

The stars have been shining a little brighter in my little corner of the universe :)!

Therapeutic Ramblings said...

Agreed. I avoid Walmart like the plague, mostly because of the shoppers. I go about once a year for some cheap DVDs, but I can't stand all of the kids running wild and the inconsiderate people......after seeing the parents, I know where the kids get it from.