I need to know Victoria's Secret

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

I went bra shopping today with my 100 dollar birthday giftcard, which is an experience I look forward to almost as much as the yearly trip to the gynecologist, but I really need new bras. You see, at one point in my life, I had boobs. Not substantial knockers that forced men's heads to spin around or made jaws drops, but they were there, at least somewhat visible. And then I lost some weight and they disappeared. I gained that weight back (see the previous entry for the whole sordid tale), but my boobs? they stayed the same. Small and unnoticeable. You won't get me to admit this again, but they so miniature that I often brush bronzer onto my sternum when wearing low-cut shirts so it looks like I have some semblance of cleavage. It's just sad.

Last time I went to Victoria's Secret I asked to be sized because I've always sort of guessed my bra size and adjusted as needed for increases or decreases (read: only decreases) in size. They did it over my clothes and the woman decided I was a 36C, which I literally laughed aloud about. I could fit both my boobs into a C cup and still have room to spare. The bra I had on when she sized me was a 36A, and she didn't believe me until I showed her the tag and proved both the size and that I bought it from that very store. There's nothing at all embarrassing about having a woman call you a liar in public and make you prove that your boobs are *that* small in front of everyone. It definitely made me want to buy something- good customer service for sure.

So I went today (to the very same store, I'm stubborn) and tried on about 30 different bras and am somewhat dumbfounded by how they're sized. Why does a 34A fit in one style, but is hugely big in other styles? And shouldn't they have to have a few bras in AA size? I know it's pathetic, but even us less well endowed women need to wear something nice too. I don't want to shop in the children's section at Target.

I did end up with 3 new bras (the exact same one in different colors), though I'd be lying if I said they weren't a little bit large. It's just not fair. I think that Perfect Sister got all the boob genes, because she has more than enough for both of us. Maybe she'll consent to a transplant if I ask nicely. And more importantly, perhaps that's Victoria's big secret- they're fake.


kim-d said...

HAHAHA! Katie, I LOVE this one! Isn't bra shopping just the pits? I don't care if you've got traffic-stopping knockers or "The Grand Tetons Aren't Always So Grand" or anything in between. Bra shopping is a pain in the ass. And you solved the problem in the only way I've ever found--buying the same bra in different colors. Hey, if it works, it works. I also buy a whole bunch at the same time so I only have to do it once a year at the most. I got sized a while back, too, and was a little surprised to learn I was actually wearing the right size. Yup, that's right--they just really are that saggy; no ill-fitting bra excuses. Ahhh, boobs...big, small, in-between...gotta love 'em, huh? HAHA!