After you read this, you'll know my family doesn't yet have the address...

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Okay, I tried to stay quiet about this, I did, really, and trust me, this post will disappear the moment a family member finds out the blog (well, they know about it, I guess as soon as I give them the address), but seriously, I can't not say something. One of my (4) step-sisters is getting married in a month. I don't want to pass many judgements on her personally, but let me just say, she and her fiance are made for each other. She nice enough (well, she's nice to a lot of people, I'm not really one of them), she's just not terribly stable.

So anyway, we held a wedding shower for her this weekend and beforehand, my mom and I went shopping for something off her registry. First we looked at her plates, she'd already received all that she'd registered for, but we wanted to see what the kitchen was going to look like (because we're curious like that). And let me just say, (and I'm NOT saying anything bad about these dishes as a general set of dishes they're actually kind of cool), wow. Because this kitchen is...well, just keep reading.

These are her everyday plates...

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And here are her kitchen appliances/utensils, no I'm not joking, she registered and got all of these, plus the scissors, the potato peeler, the collander, the ice cream scoop and several other things I can't think of anymore, and already has the kitchen aid mixer in the same color.

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And for good measure, how about a tea pot? I mean, this color coordinating thing is completely overrated.

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The girl has RED dishes and PINK kitchen stuff and a random-ass BLUE teapot. Not to mention the most God-awful flatware I've ever seen in my whole life. Ever. (I couldn't find a picture that appropriately displayed how bad they are. They have little bug looking creatures engraved in them...) Seriously, it's like she went registering with a blindfold on. Like she just took the scan gun and spun in circles hitting everything in a 10 foot radius. My favorite part of all of the different registries (there are three)? She registered for one, just one, ten dollar gift card at Target. Really? Need some gum or batteries or something?

It was hiliarious to watch people at the shower. One turned to me after she opened the dishes and said, "those can't really be what she registered for?" And then when she opened all the pink stuff the same person got laughing so hard she had to go inside. It's really that bad. Her kitchen is going to be like a train wreck. A rainbow splattered train wreck. Jackson Pollack couldn't invision this kitchen.

This will be the first and only installment of how NOT to decorate your house. Also known as, how to make your family laugh at you behind your back. I'm a horrible person, I know. But I'll get over it, and she'll be stuck with those dishes for years.


kim-d said...

BAHAHAHA! I am laughing my ass off! Even with this horrid headache that makes it hurt to laugh (I think I am having a sympathy headache for you), this is just TOO good not to laugh! Do ya freakin' believe it? Lovely. Just lovely. The pink utensils especially. And I feel okay saying this stuff since she's not nice to you. And now for some of my most wonderful unsolicited advice. DON'T GIVE ANY FAMILY MEMBERS YOUR BLOG ADDRESS. Seriously. Because then you will automatically, unconsciously start to censor yourself in case they might read it. Unless you aren't writing just for you and don't mind censoring yourself; if that's the case, then don't listen to me. Personally, my blog is for me to write whatever I want. I have only given the address to two people; one I chose who I'm 100% sure never reads it, and one who asked me for the address and who is one of my pastors and which made me have to buzz through and change a few things. But how do you say no to your pastor whom you love? My original thought was that no one would read my blog because it isn't about anything--no scrapbooking, no cooking, no exotic and/or cute animals, no photography, no extreme witty-ness. Just me writing whatever I want. And the coolest thing in the world is that people read it anyway; all people who actually sought out my blog and read it because they want to. People that I don't feel the need to censor myself with. That, my friend, is who you WANT reading your blog. Keep this just for you. Unless you don't want to. You know the way it is with my advice; if you like it, keep it--if not, toss it out!

Now, what I'm really wondering is--when the time comes for your shower, will this particular stepsister shop with YOUR taste in mind, or will she buy you something SHE likes? Doncha just love it when people do that :)? Really, though, thanks for sharing--I now feel like a decorating goddess!

And I will start today on mental clarity and calm-ness prayers for The Mr. So glad you get to see and be with him; it will be nice for you to feel that stress melt away...Have fun!

Diana893 said...

***Sheepishly looking down*** Let's just get this out there - we're never baking together! Why? Because you're making fun of my measuring cups and spoons! Yes that's right I have those pink ones! Though in my defense, I ONLY have the measuring cups and spoons (just to make baking fun) and not the whole entire freaking set - can we say overload?! Actually in her defense (though I don't quite know WHY I'm defending her...), at least a portion of the sales DO go to breast cancer research so at least her ugly kitchen will have helped SOMEONE! Oh and did I mention that my kitchen has the color pink incorporated into its color scheme so it's not like hers where somebody puked Skittles? So they aren't completely random (okay I take that back, they still are, but I love them!) Haha just cracked me up when I saw that picture - too funny!!!!!! I have to agree that separately each thing is kind of cool, but all together is, well, I'm not really sure how to put that into words... lol. Speaking of my kitchen, I need to show you the pics of my new place! *Note to self.* Alright well have fun with the rest of your [insert adjective of choice] family! Love you!

kim-d said...

Ooops, sorry Diana! And I didn't realize they benefit breast cancer, which then makes them okay...but, still, NOT with the rest of that stuff. Which IS like, as you said, someone puked skittles. I LOVE THAT! hahaha! I, too, think the dishes are okay. I wouldn't want them for EVERY day but they're not completely hideous...until you put them next to the tea kettle. But, hey, to each their own, right? As long as she and her intended are happy with it...HAHAHAHA!

Anonymous said...

Okay after looking at the dishes and everything, wowie. If i had to ever do a kitchen of mine at least i would somehow match. But anyways i understand families too well. I agree w/ Kim don't give them the addy.