An Apple a day

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

So the months of the year (on your your OTHER right) are in Spanish.* Why? Because computers LOVE me.

When I went off to college I bought a Compaq something-or-other desktop computer. Said computer was pretty good, but it was a desktop and they don't travel as well. It's harder to sit on the "quad" with the cool kids when you have to take your desktop computer and plug it in and set it up. You know? So after I got the settlement from a car accident (not only do computers love me, wreckless drivers are also big fans) I bought a laptop, a Dell. The Dell-from-hell was a fine computer as cheap laptops go. It ran on Windows XP which had just come out and for the first, oh, maybe 6 hours, it was great. And then the "blue screens of death" began. I'd be in the middle of a paper (which I never saved because everyone knows you can't stop the creative process to SAVE THE PAPERS) and it would just flash to blue and tell me that it had a big case of the I'm-screwed-ups and shut down. Lather, rinse, repeat easily 3 times a day. The Dell service people sent me Christmas cards, we knew each other quiet intimately.

One afternoon I called Dell (I believe the call center is located somewhere near Pakistan...) and was being assisted by someone who had me running diagnostic tests. For such a crappy computer, it ran really good diagnostic tests. Inaccurate ones, but good ones. At the end of the last diagnostic test it flashed to a black screen (of death) and told me that it had a malfunctioning fan and a "core meltdown" was "eminent." No really, it did. Not dramatic at all. A CORE MELTDOWN. It literally had a countdown clock to the melting point. I turned it off, gave it a minute and turned it back on. And it worked just fine. Core meltdown over. Just like that.

After the 4th time I reinstalled Windows onto that computer from a major crash and after losing half of my Senior Thesis (and because I got a settlement from another car accident, no really, I swear), I bought an Apple laptop, the now defunct iBook. Behold the beauty of a computer that doesn't crash, doesn't flash blue screens that doesn't freeze all the time. Sadly that computer only lasted about a year and a few months and because I was naive to the beauty of their protection plan, I had no way to pay for a new motherboard, monitor and disc drive. So now I have my second apple, which I can proudly say I've only dropped twice since it's purchase, which is roughly 1/1000th of the number of times I dropped it's predecessor. Typing on an apple makes me feel smarter, things work, it's amazing. No right click this, left click that, just CLICK ON IT.

And now I'm going to conquer the internet. I doubt they have call-in customer service to help with good blogging ideas, but if they do, surely I'll have just as wondeful a relationship with them as I did with the fine folks at Dell.

*This issue resolved itself on it's own. Next week they'll probably be in Sanscrit...


kim-d said...

You and your Apple! I wanted to tell you that when I first started my blog, I also had an "I'm not funny enough" crisis. Cause I really admire those funny, clever, yet wise blogs--you know the ones. But really, who can compete with Ree and Kristie. Not a chance, so finally just had to go with my own style. And you just wait--after you've been at this for a while longer, you will really start seeing some good things about yourself and your writing, even if it's NOT that it's as funny as you'd like! It will be YOUR own voice. For me, I feel like I am now back to being able to write the way I used to write, years ago--and it is incredibly relaxing and cleansing for me. So I hope you will love it, too! And it's so fun when you start having people visit, and you start making blog friends. Really! Plus, I love your new spectacles--really nice on you! And I can't wait for you to get a little down time of your own!